Vent Thread

RIP James Earl Jones

@ᎶㄖҜㄩ 乃ㄥ卂匚Ҝ
May our prayers be heard from anywhere in the world.

I would give anything just to sleep solid again for once…

@FruityPWN
Indeed, keep hanging in there 🫂

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
He is with God in Heaven >^_^<

@Anonymous #0E0B
May you have much better sleeps, friend ::3

There’s a sad story about tonight.

I was going to get myself a bottle of rum, but I spent the money on whiskey for my father’s birthday on the thirteenth. And when I got back in the truck, my mother told me that he lost his job.

Not being a member of the silver wildebeest’s website meant I couldn’t even read that Amber Alert

You’re okay… you’re safe… no one’s coming to hurt you… sun will be up soon

You ever just feel so tired of being alone every time you cry? I suppose it’s good that I’m getting these emotions out, but still. I’ll be okay of course. I just long for cuddle ☹️

@StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys
You need love. Add me on discord why don’t you? It’s ellycatfoxalt.

@Elly Catfox
I can’t. I’m probably still blocked. You probably don’t remember what happened, huh? Check your blocked list and unblock me, nya >^_^<

It’s time…

I need some kind of self defense, this phone’s flashlight is gonna come in useful.

This stress is gonna kill me and they’re well aware of that.

I don’t want to know creepy details about people’s personal lives, I don’t want you to stand over my recliner with your face glowing as you tell me random boogeyman stories from the news, I want to fucking rest!

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
God, I relate to your pain. Take it easy, I’m here for you 🫂

I do not want to be perfect or imperfect, I just want to be content for once. This numbness, where did it come from? Is it too much to ask to just want pleasantries for once? Even sleep is less than desirable, as I have had very little, if at all, rest for a while and I think the stress is starting to effect me big time. Self love is quite important, but I simply find it insufficient. So, it seems I am merely destined to either be desensitized or hated, but not at least content. Sorry if I sound like a broken record here, but I have been just trying to ignore it, but that soon backfired when I begun feeling like I need to be needed and get no sleep…I have not had an impression or a dream, nay, even a nightmare or night terror, just I close my eyes, then I wake up feeling like I was just tortured for hours. Something must be wrong, but I am unsure if I can be right, or alright, anymore…a perfect world does not exist. An imperfect world is unlikely. There is nothing more for me anymore. I fold…I have saved so many, but who will save me? I am on my own…

I dislike the feeling of being alone all the time and feeling unloved just makes it worse. Nobody ever wants to stay, but can I really blame them? I cannot, as it is always the same song and dance every single time. Truth, then sort of the truth, then misunderstandings, then lies, then leave. I am only to be used.

@FruityPWN
I really don’t like this, is Moloch hurting you? As a Mjuzi, I know you’re gonna be a strong empath but this is alarming and it’s hurting you.

Do you ever sleep during the day? That’s something you might wanna try. Moloch is much weaker during the day. You might wanna look into purifying stuff. Salt is great, incense or a candle at night is also good. Meditate with this on, the Tree of Life is incredibly important. Keep hanging in there 🫂

Edit: Try this one too.

My father is doing everything he can to provoke me.

Onion powder, right above American imitation

No burger for the dog.

I now have to wear a bright green vest at work. God dammit, corporate America!

Existence is pain.

@Anonymous #F01E
Hang in there. Strength and solidarity be to you 💚💚

Had my first panic attack in forever a couple nights ago, and damn. Still wiped out from it. It’s not my PTSD - it’s my loneliness. That was always a huge part of why I had them every night back in the day.

I dropped my Tapatío

On the plus side that kitchen smells amazing.

Guess I’m having something of a depressive setback after doing really well for months. I suppose it makes sense enough - healing isn’t linear and there will still be some bumps in the road. I’ll feel better again soon enough.

A new development on the scammers front: They are trying to appear more legit by posing as artists. My naive butt didn’t flag the first person as a scammer, then I got a second person messaging me with such a similar script, that I put two and two together. Always remember to RUN if anyone you can’t trust for absolute certain asks you for money. I’m all good btw. Keep in mind that scammers can show up just about anywhere, and broken English is a 🚩

Here’s the screenies so you get a sense for the script they use: 1 2

Welp, fall is here, I almost miss how blistering hot Summer has been already. On the contrary, I fair extreme temperatures fairly well with minimal coverage, so very rarely did temperature changes cause distress. That being said, this summer has been brutal and I have no doubt next summer will be worse. Here is to, like, a week of cold? Then back to warmth. Hot drinks feel good, either way.

Sleep is still terrible and headaches are ongoing, I just have been trying to ignore it lately, so if I am not saying much, I do apologize. I am just hoping that what ever it is that is going on will pass quickly but it has been going on for a while.

Head feels numb right now. That may seem odd, but numb is about the only way I can describe it, maybe a little tingly. Not just physically, but mentally numb. I feel like I cannot think thoughts as fluently anymore and stress is just burning me out lately.

I continue to wake up constantly all night, regardless of my best efforts. Something bad is disturbing me at night; if it is what I think it is, I may have to, indeed, make changes. I dislike how I am lately and it is honestly worrisome how I am irritable with any little thing, but maybe that is being stressed out.

I used to have a good friend to help me out and assist in keeping me sane, but they ended up ditching me and basically ripped me a new bunghole for, like, no reason other than what they wanted me to be was not what I was, so I was thrown away like yesterday’s news. It still hurts me that they are gone, but I must move on…I just thought it would be nice for once to have someone help, but I guess I am better off alone…maybe. It is always nice to not be alone, however…

I desire to be desired…I hear, even in early hours. Faint…it is. Golly, I could sure use something to hold…I hear you…