Viewing last 25 versions of post by FruityPWN in topic Vent Thread

I do not want to be perfect or imperfect, I just want to be content for once. This numbness, where did it come from? Is it too much to ask to just want pleasantries for once? Even sleep is less than desirable, as I have had very little, if at all, rest for a while and I think the stress is starting to effect me big time. Self love is quite important, but I simply find it insufficient. So, it seems I am merely destined to either be desensitized or hated, but not at least content. Sorry if I sound like a broken record here, but I have been just trying to ignore it, but that soon backfired when I begun feeling like I need to be needed and get no sleep…I have not had an impression or a dream, nay, even a nightmare or night terror, just I close my eyes, then I wake up feeling like I was just tortured for hours. Something must be wrong, but I am unsure if I can be right, or alright, anymore…a perfect world does not exist. An imperfect world is unlikely. There is nothing more for me anymore. I fold…I have saved so many, but who will save me? I am on my own…

I dislike the feeling of being alone all the time and feeling unloved just makes it worse. Nobody ever wants to stay, but can I really blame them? I cannot, as it is always the same song and dance every single time. Truth, then sort of the truth, then misunderstandings, then lies, then leave. I am only to be used.

Hm…in a perfect world, individuals like me…would not exist…but this is not…a perfect world. I do not want to be perfect or imperfect, I just want to be content for once. This numbness, where did it come from? Is it too much to ask to just want pleasantries for once? Even sleep is less than desirable, as I have had very little, if at all, rest for a while and I think the stress is starting to effect me big time. Self love is quite important, but I simply find it insufficient. So, it seems I am merely destined to either be desensitized or hated, but not at least content. Sorry if I sound like a broken record here, but I have been just trying to ignore it, but that soon backfired when I begun feeling like I need to be needed and get no sleep…I have not had an impression or a dream, nay, even a nightmare or night terror, just I close my eyes, then I wake up feeling like I was just tortured for hours. Something must be wrong, but I am unsure if I can be right, or alright, anymore…a perfect world does not exist. An imperfect world is unlikely. There is nothing more for me anymore. I fold…

I dislike the feeling of being alone all the time and feeling unloved just makes it worse. Nobody ever wants to stay, but can I really blame them? I cannot, as it is always the same song and dance every single time. Truth, then sort of the truth, then misunderstandings, then lies, then leave. I am only to be used.

Hm…in a perfect world, individuals like me…would not exist…but this is not…a perfect world. I do not want to be perfect or imperfect, I just want to be content for once. This numbness, where did it come from? Is it too much to ask to just want pleasantries for once? Even sleep is less than desirable, as I have had very little, if at all, rest for a while and I think the stress is starting to effect me big time. Self love is quite important, but I simply find it insufficient. So, it seems I am merely destined to either be desensitized or hated, but not at least content. Sorry if I sound like a broken record here, but I have been just trying to ignore it, but that soon backfired when I begun feeling like I need to be needed and get no sleep…I have not had an impression or a dream, nay, even a nightmare or night terror, just I close my eyes, then I wake up feeling like I was just tortured for hours. Something must be wrong, but I am unsure if I can be right, or alright, anymore…a perfect world does not exist. An imperfect world is unlikely. There is nothing more for me anymore. I fold…

I dislike the feeling of being alone all the time and feeling unloved just makes it worse. Nobody ever wants to stay, but can I really blame them? I cannot, as it is always the same song and dance every single time. Truth, then sort of the truth, then misunderstandings, then lies, then leave. I am only to be used.