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nya
Chronic isolation and lack of purpose are literally killing me. Going outside and working out doesn’t fix it either. Can’t find friends or a job or any kind of reason to live except for my girlfriend but that’s too much pressure on one person. It seems like I need more support than anyone is either willing or able to give. I’m angry and upset at the system and the world and want nothing to do with like 95% of people and I don’t know how to change that.
I’m afraid I’ll snap and kill myself or something else drastic one of these days. 😢
Also fuck 988 and fuck the system and fuck people who don’t understand why the system doesn’t work for a lot of us minorities and honestly fuck most statists and liberals and conservatives and most human beings. Sometimes I hate this planet and I hate most people. We’re living in the run up to nazi Germany in America rn. I saw it coming 10 years ago but my efforts to secure a good life for myself with which to weather the storm have been in vane.
I’m probably going to actually do it here within the next few weeks for real. I’ve got the means and I’ve got the will. I don’t deserve this but Ive been suffering for far too long. I do deserve respite. May I find a better life in my next incarnation in the cycle of Samsara…