Vent Thread

Chronic isolation and lack of purpose are literally killing me. Going outside and working out doesn’t fix it either. Can’t find friends or a job or any kind of reason to live except for my girlfriend but that’s too much pressure on one person. It seems like I need more support than anyone is either willing or able to give. I’m angry and upset at the system and the world and want nothing to do with like 95% of people and I don’t know how to change that.

I’m afraid I’ll snap and kill myself or something else drastic one of these days. 😢

Also fuck 988 and fuck the system and fuck people who don’t understand why the system doesn’t work for a lot of us minorities and honestly fuck most statists and liberals and conservatives and most human beings. Sometimes I hate this planet and I hate most people. We’re living in the run up to nazi Germany in America rn. I saw it coming 10 years ago but my efforts to secure a good life for myself with which to weather the storm have been in vane.

I’m probably going to actually do it here within the next few weeks for real. I’ve got the means and I’ve got the will. I don’t deserve this but Ive been suffering for far too long. I do deserve respite. May I find a better life in my next incarnation in the cycle of Samsara…

@Elly Catfox
Please talk with your doctor or a crisis hotline. If nothing else go to an emergency room and report yourself as a credible risk for self harm.

@Ciaran
No. I don’t have good doctors and the crisis lines don’t work for me. Tried way too many times to no avail. This isn’t negotiable. 988 and the system are just gaslighting capitalist bureaucratic morons, in this context at least. I’ve been way too traumatized by the very systems supposed to help me way too many times. No no no no no. You don’t get to just dismiss me and shoo me away like that while pretending you did something when you didn’t.

@Ciaran
They literally just gaslighted tf out of a trans girlfriend of mine at the local hospital and said a bunch of really transphobic shit to her and we had to tie her to the bed to keep her from killing herself AFTER she was in the hospital. She came out of there worse than she went in and no it wasn’t her fault.

@Ciaran
You and everyone else who just refers people to the system are enablers of abuse and neglect. It’s lazy, it’s trashy, it’s gaslighting and I won’t stand for it any longer. You’re just trying to save face so after I’m dead you can pretend to feel good about “trying to help” and your image remains intact. I would rather die.

Sure there’s probably more to it than that. I don’t live in your head. But you ultimately need to listen to this if you actually give a shit. The system under capitalism does not create cures, it creates patients. Otherwise my myriad of dead friends and relatives might still be fucking alive and I wouldn’t be about to kill myself.

Sick and tired of everyone saying to reach out for help and then turning around at us and getting mad and throwing their hands in the air when we try our hardest and it isn’t good enough.

I have worked diligently for this country. I have worked hard and carried so many things so far for not only myself but for loved ones for years. I have worked, built, cooked, cleaned, and created over and over and over with bood sweat and tears and I have almost nothing to show for it. It’s bullshit and I deserved better. I hope my soul will get to look down on all of you and watch you masturbate when I’m dead.

@Elly Catfox
Calm the fuck down, man, I swear to god. You people need to get off the internet and reflect yourself at least. I know this is going to offend you but I don’t give a fuck, in fact I care about you more than the people that screwed you over in your life, I’m aware I say is bitter but this is how some people concern towards other.

@ChickPea
You don’t know me and you don’t know how much I already meditate and contemplate and reflect and work on myself way fucking mure than 90% of people. Shut up.

@ChickPea
Seriously don’t call me man and don’t fucking talk shit about shit you don’t understand.

@Elly Catfox
Oh I understand, you got issues and you haven’t dealt with them yet. Don’t fucking blame me because you’re freak out.

@ChickPea
YOU ARE NOT HELPING THE SITUATION!!!!!

Thank you fucking staff omfg! Jesus fucking Christ!

@Elly Catfox
Look, I apologise I didn’t realize you are gender queer, Didn’t mean to misgender you okay.

@Elly Catfox
But clearly, there’s a comparison how me and you respond.