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Trying to feel confident, love myself, or even think about myself these days feels like Hank Hill trying to talk to his son about emotions or sex. It’s awkward, I get brain fog and anxiety, and I just want it to be over. I can’t confront it effectively.

I get the impression I hate myself but don’t know why. Talking or thinking about myself makes me uncomfortable. If asked if I hate myself, I quickly get into rationalizations where I say a bunch of reasons that I am a decent person and say them with a sort’ve well-rehearsed faux confidence, but the look on my face while doing so is one of barely masked sadness and disgust, and I feel a sense of dread throughout my being.

I don’t have any “self-hating thoughts” or say, “I hate myself.” But I think I feel like I hate myself. I’m disgusted with myself even though I can list off all the reasons that I don’t like myself aren’t my fault and can externalize them into hating the world around me instead. I still hate myself even though I say I don’t and I don’t know why I hate myself.

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
?

@Lunarmoon21
Perhaps you have been influenced by the wrong crowd.

Prolife, provax, intactivist

I’m the useless one. I’m almost okay with that. Almost.

@Elly Catfox
You also have plenty of usefulness and value <3

@Lunarmoon21
I feel the same way but please hang in there

@Lunarmoon21
Nonsense. You have plenty of usefulness and value

I’m just a fucking useless cracker

@FruityPWN
You will make it through this

@StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys
They say dna means nothing when ancestry.com says I Ashkenazi Jewish dna

@Lunarmoon21
Hugs That sounds awful, I’m sorry she put down your beliefs like that

Please help me, I got attacked by another Jewish woman after talking about the end times on a deviant art post (it was related to the post) it started as a stupid argument about if it was 5783 or 5983, I was pulling in things from scripture to prove it’s supposed to be 5983 because we lost 200 years due to Jesus’ death. That’s when she stared talking about only the Torah was valid and that me believing in Jesus was “kinky” whatever the fuck that means, and then it just went racist telling me I wasn’t a valid Jew since I’m patrilineal. I posted the screenshots on a subreddit for cyberbullying support only for people to be on the assholes side, commenting disgusting things on the post and downvoting it.

Others can be so impressionable.

@FruityPWN
I know the feeling. I don’t talk to my friends all that much either hugs

Well, I fell asleep two hours early last night, had a very peculiar dream and woke up severely dehydrated and chuckling, for some reason. My body may very well not know how to cope with the fact that my mind can’t let go of certain things.

I really miss how my best friend used to treat me, we used to hang and be two peas in a pod. Nowadays, they just hang out with their little group of friends and cast me to the side… it’s like pulling hairs to even start a conversation with them and it sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close. I trusted them a lot, but now, I barely know them anymore.

@Elly Catfox
I’ll survive. I’m not feeling like I can be productive or even play Pokémon but I feel like watching Pokémon content so I’ll do that and hang in there 💜

@StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys
I’m so sorry. 😔

I’ve never had this many dreams about violence and death. I think it’s safe to say my brain is in one of the worst depressive states of my life

I had a dream that I was in a dream.

@Elly Catfox
I had a dream that Mike Dirnt died and Billie Joe was a complete emotional wreck over it

@ᎶㄖҜㄩ 乃ㄥ卂匚Ҝ
I had a dream that I smoked a cigarette and owned a pair of winter boots.

I just woke up from a dream where I won over $400,000 from just a few slot machine pulls. Dammit, why couldn’t this be real?!

Rawr.