Posts

Man, I wish learning I’m hypokalemic hadn’t come at so high a cost. It took me a long time to feel safe living in my own home again after the hack. I was thankfully given a small supply of Ativan to help me be able to sleep well again. What happened was that scary. I even thought I saw a person standing outside my bathroom, though it was hard to tell because my window is thankfully very thick and cloudy with the way the glass is. I was glad I had had it closed.

A couple things that helped me calm down. My mom said the people were there during the day, and they didn’t graffiti our house or anything, so maybe they didn’t really want to hurt me. And realizing if something happened at night, my cats would all come running into my room. That’s helped me sleep at night again.

And I don’t know which is worse. If the hacker is someone from here and somehow found out where I live, or if the hacker is local. I’ve never given out my address to anyone on here, so someone finding it is disturbing. Equally disturbing, the thought someone local could have decided to attack me for being a furry. I had this video pop up in my YouTube recommended for a good week or two beforehand: “The Furries that Want to Kill You”. I didn’t watch it, and after the hack, haven’t been able to find it.

It’s made me feel afraid to seek out friend groups online. Last year I had this Discord I was in with three other Lion King fans from years ago when we were on a now-defunct forum, and I thought I had re-connected with them and found a little group. Then it got deleted with no warning because it had been my friend and his two best friends and me being there was “awkward”. Then my friend blocked me a few weeks later. And now this happens with the little furry community I was invited to. But I’m still willing to give everyone here the benefit of the doubt and try again.

The hospital, too… It wasn’t a pleasant visit. They had me sign a consent form going in, but never told me for what. Then I, having PTSD, ended up getting manhandled, including by a cop. At one point they tried to lead me to a bathroom that had a little chair outside the door, and it culminated with me being held down by men. Sigh… I was doing better. I was getting out of my shell. I was less scared of people. I was dating people. And now I just don’t know anymore. Now I’ve been made to feel small and afraid like I was when something unfortunate happened to me in 2008.

I lost stuff, too. There was stuff on YouTube and Facebook that also scared me and seemed possibly related, so I deleted them. Thankfully, Facebook accounts exist for quite a while after trying to delete and are recoverable. But YouTube with the playlists I worked hard to build and all my subscriptions and everything… I don’t think I can get that back at this point.

I know I promised more positive posts on here. And there will be. This was just, so much and I kinda wanted to talk about it more. Thank you everyone here, for being so patient with me

I am the Jew and I speak for the Israel

OCCUPATION MY ASS

@Elly Catfox
You’re welcome 💜💜

@StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys
Thank you. 🖤💛🖤💛🖤

Um hey I decided to come back. Something terrifying happened to me. People were outside my house for hours and hours making all this noise. My phone and computer got hacked into. They made it seem like it was related to this site, like it kept popping up on my computer and phone. That terrified me, and made me fear that this site is being used for nefarious purposes. I no longer think that, but I was very scared for the safety of a lot of people because of what happened. The hacker(s) is gone but was in my stuff for days and days. That’s why I freaked out so much in my anon posts on here. And from the bottom of my heart, I’d like to apologize for that. But that’s the context behind my actions.

I’d like to make something very clear. My posts on here prior to the hacking were alarming, completely agree. But I never had plans to, never would, nor will I ever, seek out the location of anyone on this site. As edgy as I am, I’m not actually capable of harming anyone. If I choose to stay here, I promise my posts will be much calmer and more positive going forward.

And as for my pre-anon posts, well I did realize two things. First, I was using far too much Lysol to clean when my cats would pee, particularly because they kept peeing in the spot I sit in on the couch. Mom and I are working on offering them more options for where they can go, and it’s embarrassing to admit they were doing that. But I was barely eating, barely sleeping, my throat was clogged up, and body abnormally warm. I was absorbing way too much Lysol, those are symptoms of such. I kinda realized that on my own, luckily, and won’t use it much going forward. Second, I also have hypokalemia: low blood potassium levels. The hospital gave me an IV of potassium and also diagnosed me with low calcium levels. Chemo is behind that since it causes digestion/nutrient issues, no doubt, but I just have a feeling that energy drinks are too. So I quit them cold turkey and they’re being replaced with orange, apple, cranberry juices and milk. No appointment for therapy just yet but it’s on the list of appointments we need to make. Mom and I realized we need to be working together much more on making positive changes, and we are :3

What is with these businesses advertising that they’ll be closed on Easter Sunday this year? (Even on the news in some cases.) They’re doing it as if it had never been done before. It’s kind of annoying!

The pain…it is unbearable…

@Elly Catfox
Oh, I figured it was the politics, and I get that. That’s why I personally choose to ignore it.

@MoonOtter
I’m sorry, you make a good point. It’s just dangerous territory because politics but I get it. 🫂🐾💙

I am the drunkest bastard to ever live on this planet!

@Elly Catfox
What?!

@Lunarmoon21
So? If it is, they clearly were not in a good space when they were doing so. If the minor inconvenience of a thread being spammed is enough for you to toss your empathy out the window you need to reexamine yourself.

@MoonOtter
It’s the spammer

@Lunarmoon21
Wow. For someone who’s posted plenty about their own issues in this thread, including some debateably petty stuff, you sure lack empathy, don’t ya?

Why can’t I just cease already? I don’t deserve this, yet, I am living in my own special kind of torment

@Elly Catfox
He finally got the acc deletion by moderators he deserved, I had to click the report button 10000 times.

@Elly Catfox
Yeah

@Elly Catfox
Not what? It’s a vent thread, she’s venting.

@Lunarmoon21
Can we not?

I AM NOT A COMIC-BOOK CHARACTER!

Pinterest sucks, I sent them plenty of support emails about crazy Palestine nuts calling me a zionist and a terrorist, and they just tell me to use the report button WHICH DOES NOT WORK, because people are too lazy to moderate and use retarded bots instead that can’t tell the difference between an image of a dog and a shirtless woman, and deletes pins that aren’t porn. This guy commented on one of my furry pins that also talked about being messianic (the reason why I stopped making adult content), saying “for who now?” Because I mentioned Jesus and this guy thinks you can’t be both, when it actually is and you can easily research this messianism, and he also commented all that “Jesus was a Palestinian” bullshit. Even if I do block him, another PaleSTAN TikTurd is gonna mess with me because of my Hebrew username and gonna accuse me and my people of something we didn’t do.

What you have been doing here is inappropriate. Please stop.

If you need help, please contact your doctor or therapist. If you do not have a doctor or therapist, please go to your local emergency room.

Going to an emergency room for mental health support may be overwhelming, and may feel even more stressful than seeing your doctor or therapist, or if you don’t have professional help yet, the struggle of getting a doctor or a therapist to help you.

But you do not seem to be having the kind of crisis that can be helped by chatting online, or through any form of self-help.

So please seek professional help. If you don’t want to talk to a doctor, and don’t want to talk to a therapist - for whatever reason - please at least contact a crisis support number or website that is appropriate for where you live.

This site can hook you up with a support center, website, or hotline in whichever country you live in.

I can see who you are. If you would like your account deleted just reply “Yes” and I will take care of it for you.

@Lunarmoon21
Clearly the guy is having an episode. Telling them to shut up isn’t helpful in the least. Hopefully a mod will log on and clear it out soon.