Posts

Well I have enough for the Pokémon group drama leaked about the allegations of Thyplosion, Slanking, Octoling and Rapidash for the weird story they just found just like P.Diddy version of cartoons

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
Sounds like he needs therapy.

Dad’s throwing his cats against the wall again, this morning he was running around butt-naked, we’re gonna need to put his ass in a home.

It’s time to go flying in the winds.

I’m starting to wonder will god punish us for our sins, we have people like Jack Doherty, Mr. Beast and the others, those who are example of evil, I imagine Noah and his Ark floating on flooded earth.

The optometrist was a fucking nightmare, the office was dark and cramped, it doesn’t help that I’m claustrophobic.

My health insurance has really hit the gutter.

I don’t know what, but something needs to be done about them. I really hope I won’t be seen as toxic for all I’ve said and done. I really hope people will listen to me and actually make a positive change there, somehow. Please, recognize how not okay the way they treated me was.

On a more positive but still annoyed note - god I miss playing Smash Ultimate. I think my Switch is done for good - a small amount of cat pee was all it took to ruin the charging port. I guess today is just kind of a bad day for me. I’m of course still not feeling great after what happened. Starting to feel really lonely as night sets in, too. I’ve spent so long alone and in pain. At least I love myself now.

That does it. I’m still mad. I’m not taking this lying down, because this is not okay. I picture us on our little hippie moon base, and I am shamed and starved to death. That’s no better for me than other oppressive systems - it may even be worse. Christ, at least my mom cares about my medical needs! This is someone who blatantly has more privilege than I do, trying to use their privilege against me. They need to either stop and do a ton of shadow work to become a good leader, or they shouldn’t be leading us at all. I was told there wasn’t supposed to be hierarchy here!

Do they even know what it means to be a punk? Because I do. I grew up.

They got angry at me because I mentioned veganism without talking about “the victims”, aka animals. Of course I care about animals, but let’s center this on a my-consent perspective: they basically tried to shame me into doing something I do not consent to. See it for what it really is.

They seem so concerned with consent… and it’s got me wondering, has anything bad actually happened to them? Or are they just using that as a tool to control people.

I mean, it can be both. It’s just, ya know, I’m an actual victim of that kind of stuff and when you throw consent around that much, I can’t help but wonder. And maybe I wouldn’t, were it not for them linking all those videos promoting veganism, claiming they’re trying to save my life, and it’s like… the whole thing felt so fearmongery. It feels like a pattern of control through fear is emerging.

I’ve heard that when someone talks negative they’re just off in their own little world.

Also, the entire thing started because I said I don’t eat a vegan diet, and recommended that anyone who does make sure they get their vitamin levels monitored, if possible. That’s not anti-vegan. I’m not anti-vegan. Did they think I am merely because I said that?

But they got all offended and turned it into this big thing.

Well, I was about to say I learned nothing from it, because none of what they whined about wasn’t stuff I didn’t already know, but I actually did learn something valuable: they are very easily offended. Too easily offended. I don’t like the parallels my mind is currently drawing to my abusive ex.

They say they do shadow work, which is when you deal with your shadow self, basically overcome your negative aspects and heal from your trauma. Yet, our few interactions have mostly been them coming at me with this intense attitude, highly critical of the stuff I post. I’m torn between whether they’re manipulative or just someone with a ton of unresolved trauma, and I don’t like how the whole vegan thing has me leaning toward the former. It’s supposed to be a non-hierarchical group, yet they went full authoritarian on me. Not good.

Writing about this here is my process. I don’t do it with the intent to attack or anything. Note that I have named zero names. Writing here lets me let off the steam about it, and I’m trying to figure out what’s going on with them. If this is going to be some “leader” of our group, I don’t like what I’ve seen of them thus far. They’ve come at me in increasingly agitated states, rather than approach with calmness and clarity. It’s a very limited perspective on them, I’m sure, but it doesn’t bode well.

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
Seriously. There’s been a couple times I’ve had a great conversation with someone, only for them to jump down my throat. We were having fun. Read the fucking room

@StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys
They’re killing your joy.

(Sorry, lotsa thoughts, tired af but sleep doesn’t want to happen)

There’s a power imbalance at play here, I noticed that person didn’t take the time to check out the stuff I linked about what a Killjoy is, but demanded I watch all the videos they linked. It’s one thing to recommend stuff, it’s another thing to heatedly demand that I watch your crap. Don’t make me listen to you if you’re not gonna listen to me.

Hopefully, I can reach some sort of peaceful state with this person. The more I think about this, the more 🚩it gets. Which of course makes me worry about how they’re currently treating others.

Something’s probably wrong here. But they at least seem like their heart is in a good place, and are hopefully not beyond redemption.

And like, it’s not only me I feel for. Idk how much of this side to them had been exposed previously - but if it hadn’t, it’s gonna be a rude awakening to other people as well. And that’s probably gonna be a little painful. But it’s not my fault - if they had just actually listened to the things I was saying, and actually argued in good faith rather than launching a pre-selected set of videos at me, I wouldn’t have reacted as strongly as I did. They even seemed unaware of what was actually in them.

I sincerely hope that person didn’t just plug their ears and block me. I hope they actually read all the stuff I typed. Otherwise, it ain’t me who is “afraid of learning”.

Even in a movement that’s supposed to be about caring for the collective, what I said and what my purrsonal medical needs are, were ignored. Guess I’ll just get left behind by everyone. Well, all I can try to do nyaow is be a force for positive change.

I notice people barely ever talk in there. I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of them. For someone who claims to care about consent, they were far too eager to deny me mine. I don’t get to choose my own diet - conform to veganism, even when it literally means you will starve to death! Don’t you dare choose a different video than the ones I sent, how dare you look for the information that is relevant to you!

And reading that gaslighting article was very eye-opening. Some of those phrases are ones that were used against me in our argument. Makes me wonder how much they’ve jumped down other people’s throats with that deeply unhealthy shut-up-and-watch-my-bullcrap-propaganda attitude.

I was about to burn some Dragon’s Blood

It’s sorta funky in here.

@FruityPWN
Are you able to obtain and burn incense? Scents can help calm you ::3

I keep passing out at random times…the stress is really getting to me.

Feels like I am surrounded by bad influences daily, though…maybe it’s not them.

Decided to watch the videos they told me to watch and write a lengthy reply. I hope it doesn’t get me banned from that community, I’ve been loving it there. But it really strikes me as though they think going vegan will magically cure my cancer, and well, I’ll admit that kinda hits a nerve.

I hope the purrson I just argued with finds a better, more peaceful path through life. They seem very easily offended. Jumping down my throat over saying “vegan diet” says more about them than it does about me. Along with the past couple times we’ve butted heads, this purrson strikes me as a hurt and stressed individual. I’d tell them they should try meditating and burning some incense, but now I’m worried they’d only get madder at me.

According to Lucifer, we are being prepared to meet and communicate with extra-terrestrial consciousness on our planet. Felt like a very relevant thing to post here, I’ll go back to not posting about my beliefs in this thread nyaow >^_<