Three days…I should be more excited, but I’m just finding myself perpetually neutral.

@StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys
I mean, I don’t really want to out them, but apparently, from what they’ve told me, it is advanced enough to cause them constant pain; the fact that I had to learn through somebody else tells me that they didn’t want me to worry, but at the same time, I felt betrayed because I wasn’t important enough to know about it. I could tell you about it, but I feel there would be little point, as everything that happened, happened. The information they share is very scarce and it leads me to believe that they won’t seek treatment until it gets too late - at that point, it would be systematic and it would be, if not improbable, very, very difficult to treat…it’s a scary disease, but it’s their choice to do as they will with it. Hope is nice to have, but they always contradict every lesson that was taught and push everything away. I’m at the point where I don’t know how to even approach them anymore, so I don’t.

@FruityPWN
Well, maybe fortunately for them if word manages to reach them: there’s a woman that clings to Trump-diddily-ump because he passed a policy allowing people to try experimental treatments, and it worked for her. She had bone cancer, which means there are treatments out there. There might be hope.

I wanted to learn more info about your acquaintance’s cancer, even told them about mine hoping they would talk about theirs, cuz I didn’t wanna just come out and tell them I knew. This is a hard disease to have, that cuts very deeply. But they didn’t end up talking about it.

All there is to do nyaow is hope they learn there might be treatments out there, and hope they can get better.

I’m going share an opinion, I don’t like grimart and his comics, usually the way he tackles issues is purely stupid, he only substitute the comics and their plotline to excuse of making explicit scenes out of them, alongside with his characters being utterly boring aside from their traumas that only held them by a thread. Plus his attempt writing dialogue is just cheesy and not a good one, Anyway enough with the rambling, I got to play Left 4 Dead 2.

Why do I still drink?

I drank straight fuckin’ alcohol, it doesn’t affect me anymore.

This is getting ridiculous…

Well, great…there goes that plan. Flushed right down the crapper.

If I didn’t have enough bullshit at work after all the corporate buyout and office staff layoffs, now I’m being evaluated on my efficiency by an “efficiency expert.”

Well, great. Ya try to help someone, next thing you know you’ve hurt them because “you should know” and apparently there’s a demon called “Vengeance” who’s gonna kill a bunch of people. I feel like a threat on my life was made. And of course, when I ask what happened, I get no answer. Just blocked. Honestly getting the vibe that these people were bullshitting and just being cruel. I guess we’ll see - a big part of this journey has involved strengthening myself against demonic possession so, we’ll see what, if any, dreams I have.

So much for lending them my help, though.

I wanna go back to Castle Park so bad, that was a cool place.

I broke up with a girl, and I think I made the right choice for the both of us. Our relationship weren’t working out and we had our differences that we can’t get along with, as well as I look her down. I have come out and become honest on my view towards her.

I just want to be held and cared for. The day grows near, so does a large change.

It’s interesting, actually. A few days or so ago, I was thinking about how if I were to die, nobody would really know. My mom would but, she wouldn’t know how to get the word out to all my friends. And now I come to find out, I was feeling Bob Bryar’s energy as he died alone. Maybe it was even him, who helped set my mom and I on the path towards going and seeing Wicked. The afterlife is, after all, about trying to repent for misdeeds done while alive.

To center back on the now, my stomach still seems to be doing well, and my scar’s looking okay ::3

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
Sending strength and positivity your way ::3

Pinched the fuck out of my finger, pops had a broken A/C in my window I vowed to yank out today. Then mom had me get a lizard out of the kitchen sink, its tail broke off because I couldn’t grab properly.

It’s been a long day trying to get my bed cleaned up for the cold front coming in, there’s a lot of blankets to wash that the dog likes to bundle up in.

Well, it turns out Bob Bryar has been dead for almost a month and we’re only just now hearing about it. Part of me is sad we lost a contributing member to my favourite album, but part of me struggles to feel much about it, because one of his most recent tweets was him celebrating that he can use a slur again. Another life stolen by the MAGA hat, most likely. We don’t know the cause of death but, being in that hateful environment only made the man’s struggle with mental health worse.

Hence, why I refuse to stop trying my best to be here for my mom.

Bob couldn’t let go of his hate, and in the end, it destroyed him. That’s why I try not to get involved with anything that is blindly hating entire groups of people, and try to live by love instead.

Ah I get it now! I’ve bled a bit because I’m still injured from the listeria that burned my insides last summer. That’s why it’s been on my mind again so much. Remember, I had throwing up and diarrhea for around an entire month, and I’m on chemo which inhibits my body’s ability to repair itself. The break from chemo I’ve been taking will help, and I’m doing okay thus far on the pizza-based diet I’ve been put on.

I have played Half-Life 2 to celebrate it’s 20th anniversary, decided installed some of two mods to enhance the game. The krystal mod and the entrophy animations mod, though the krystal mod is a model change, not the complete entire replacement for alyx. Currently I’m in the Route Kanal level of the game.

Seven days…

I just got two messages on Xbox while watching Hulu. Some spammers (read: scammers) want to “buy” my Xbox Live account.

@ChickPea
The fourth dimensional construct of time is nebulous and ever-changing, but not impenetrable. Not only was I not seeing you die to amoeba beforehand, but I used the key elements of water and metal to help shift you onto a protected path. I now do not see your life ending anytime soon. Your water should be safe. Do remember to not take that for granted, though - keep looking both ways before crossing the street, and other commonly-used safety measures.

Paths as we see them often differ from what we see. When I began chemo, I instantly got the sense that it would cause an internal organ of mine to have problems - a scary, life-threatening thought indeed. I learned I was right this year, but that internal organ is my stomach. With carefulness until I see doctors about it, I will survive what seemed like an alarming fate.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how I’m not sure my timeline would have continued if I hadn’t been fortunate enough to meet someone whose survival and prepper past hadn’t inspired me to think that way when I came down with listeria last summer, as well as it being because I met them that I got put on the path towards getting on meds that helped me remain much more rational in a dire situation. Luck be a superpower of mine indeed, nya!

Somehow I’m still alive.

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
The dragon energy is stronger than the alcohol!

It’s gonna take more than 95% alcohol to kill me.

Is that the strongest this world has to offer?

If only I had some Carolina Reaper to go with this.

Just gave them an ultimatum…I dislike doing that.
It’s ten days until I level up.

Ate a bunch of food, but I don’t feel satisfied…