Vent Thread

I just want to be held and cared for. The day grows near, so does a large change.

I broke up with a girl, and I think I made the right choice for the both of us. Our relationship weren’t working out and we had our differences that we can’t get along with, as well as I look her down. I have come out and become honest on my view towards her.

I wanna go back to Castle Park so bad, that was a cool place.

Well, great. Ya try to help someone, next thing you know you’ve hurt them because “you should know” and apparently there’s a demon called “Vengeance” who’s gonna kill a bunch of people. I feel like a threat on my life was made. And of course, when I ask what happened, I get no answer. Just blocked. Honestly getting the vibe that these people were bullshitting and just being cruel. I guess we’ll see - a big part of this journey has involved strengthening myself against demonic possession so, we’ll see what, if any, dreams I have.

So much for lending them my help, though.

If I didn’t have enough bullshit at work after all the corporate buyout and office staff layoffs, now I’m being evaluated on my efficiency by an “efficiency expert.”

Well, great…there goes that plan. Flushed right down the crapper.

Why do I still drink?

I drank straight fuckin’ alcohol, it doesn’t affect me anymore.

This is getting ridiculous…

I’m going share an opinion, I don’t like grimart and his comics, usually the way he tackles issues is purely stupid, he only substitute the comics and their plotline to excuse of making explicit scenes out of them, alongside with his characters being utterly boring aside from their traumas that only held them by a thread. Plus his attempt writing dialogue is just cheesy and not a good one, Anyway enough with the rambling, I got to play Left 4 Dead 2.

@FruityPWN
Well, maybe fortunately for them if word manages to reach them: there’s a woman that clings to Trump-diddily-ump because he passed a policy allowing people to try experimental treatments, and it worked for her. She had bone cancer, which means there are treatments out there. There might be hope.

I wanted to learn more info about your acquaintance’s cancer, even told them about mine hoping they would talk about theirs, cuz I didn’t wanna just come out and tell them I knew. This is a hard disease to have, that cuts very deeply. But they didn’t end up talking about it.

All there is to do nyaow is hope they learn there might be treatments out there, and hope they can get better.

Three days…I should be more excited, but I’m just finding myself perpetually neutral.

@StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys
I mean, I don’t really want to out them, but apparently, from what they’ve told me, it is advanced enough to cause them constant pain; the fact that I had to learn through somebody else tells me that they didn’t want me to worry, but at the same time, I felt betrayed because I wasn’t important enough to know about it. I could tell you about it, but I feel there would be little point, as everything that happened, happened. The information they share is very scarce and it leads me to believe that they won’t seek treatment until it gets too late - at that point, it would be systematic and it would be, if not improbable, very, very difficult to treat…it’s a scary disease, but it’s their choice to do as they will with it. Hope is nice to have, but they always contradict every lesson that was taught and push everything away. I’m at the point where I don’t know how to even approach them anymore, so I don’t.

@FruityPWN
Pain does cause people to be mean, so I suppose there’s a degree of understandability to their actions. But I’m still feeling like walking away is the way to go. We tried our best to be of help.

It’s sad but, it’s not the first time I’ve come across someone that just wouldn’t try advice out. Leaves both people at a stalemate, whereas, if they were listening to each other and trying what the other person suggested, at least that shows they’re trying to work on themselves and trying to grow and improve. Lacking that and, being a very negative person to be around, we would just find ourselves feeling stuck with them.

We did all we could.

@FruityPWN
I’d also like to add, we gotta cut ourselves some slack here, too. We’re just a couple people trying our best, trying to heal from mental illness while feeling and being very alone. We probably don’t have all the love and help we ourselves need.

We tried to do good despite that, and the universe will recognize that. Remember to always be good to yourself 💚

OW SO MUCH PAIN

I think, I’m almost recovering from anxiety. As long as I don’t overthink.

@ChickPea
That’s good. And I’m now recovered from an acute migraine

So like, I’m probably setup on a path of death and rebirth. I never get migraines, and that one was really concentrated in one spot. It felt like I had been shot in the head, so I guess I’ve died by being shot in the head now. It came along at the purrfect time - as I was laying in bed, ready to go to sleep. So, obviously, take headache medicine and go to sleep. Easy one tbh.

It reminds me of the time it felt like a knife had been transplanted into my body. The exact pain as though I had been stabbed there - but obviously, no actual knife. Completely bizarre - I wondered if it was a chemo thing, but it happened years and years ago nyaow, and hasn’t happened since.

So I guess that’s a thing I’m doing. I’d like to point out, I don’t, and never will, intentionally bring any of these on. I’m against self-harm. They just happen, lol.

Could it be that I’ve become so bitter that I’ve destroyed the world?

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
I doubt it, considering I’m on a journey to make it a better place. You’re an important ally of mine, not an adversary

Just lost everyone important in my life…there goes the individuals I was going to spend the rest of my life with.

A good case of ED is just what the doctor ordered, this world would be a better place if more people got kicked in the butt.

@FruityPWN
🫂 Hang in there. I’m still on your side.

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙 Agreed, assuming we’re talking mostly about the people who abuse their wealth and power to hurt others. Feeling nauseous because of such individuals atm.

@StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys
Yeah okay.

Whew boy… dealing with some mental health roughness tonight… and I might feel better if I talk my way through it. I’m sure I’m mainly dealing with less-stable mental health because of the biological process I unfortunately go through, but I came across something Elon Musk said that is absolutely horrifying. Not gonna repeat it.

I feel thankful, that I paid attention the first time around. That I remember how little was actually accomplished. That I’m able to ground myself in such realities. Otherwise, I’d be feeling absolutely terrified right now.

Remember, that these are egotistical people, to the point they can’t get along well enough to accomplish extreme goals. Remember, we have far more laws and protections in place than there were in the past, and they will hold.

Ahh, calm again >^_<

The day I am gone will be the day I am finally recognized…just went through the biggest heartbreak since 2018 and I’m supposed to just pretend it doesn’t exist…it tears me up seeing someone I know, become someone I knew.

Why don’t I just disappear forever…I don’t give a shit anymore.