Also, upon further analysis of my biases, I realize I must include and try to account for the fact that I am constantly shifting between or in a state of mental superimposition of hypo and hypersexuality, due to childhood trauma and growing up in a fundamentalist Christian household that quite literally demonized sex and suppressed it from my existence at all costs, leaving me no way to correctly process my trauma.
This is probably another reason that I say this doesn’t bother me and I don’t mind this kind of thing. Because I often am hypersexual and trying to post about my own sexuality and see others doing the same on some sort of frantic basis in my fractured mind. Granted, the opposite is also true, and I often find myself stressed out and having panic attacks seeing things related to sex, so it goes both ways. Hell, I haven’t been able to have sex, not because I’m unattractive or that socially inept, for many months now. I just can’t do it without panicking and wanting to kill myself. Hell I kinda want to just kill myself right now. I need to take my pills. I don’t want to end up in the hospital again. $4,400 in medical bills this out of pocket this year alone. I live on $10,500 a year. I can’t afford this shit. Don’t tell me to go to a fucking doctor and get ineffective “help” I can’t fucking afford in this joke of a “first world country” I live in.
This fractured, disturbed mind of minem…… Hehehehe. , too intelligent for its own good and simultaneously too stupid to live. Hahahaha….. Hahahaha… Hah.. hah… Hah……….. One of these days if you stop seeing the anonymous lunatic who obsessively edits his posts and who struggles to stop chasing dopamine late at night and be healthy… Well, you’ll know whym…. Hahahahaha…. You know, the Joker was right. Hehehehe, I suppose this constitutes a creepy comment too to you people huh? Fuckers just can’t have enough huh? You created this monster. You fucking religious, uptight, “people.” You don’t matter more than me. Your religion and your rules don’t matter more than a lost soul. You say your corporations are on the side of the little people but they aren’t. They are there to brainwash you just like your stupid fucking religions.. They fucking don’t care… Nobody cares. Nobody… Martie… I’m becoming… Dissociative…. When will these pills kick in… Please… Kick in… Agitation… I don’t know what to dom………….,…….