Well…I feel much more content now. I’ve moved from that shit hole of a house, but something strange happened…I seem to have blips in memory, to which, days seem like a matter of hours. I’ve missed many weeks, hence why I haven’t been updating, though it’s only now that I’m recalling. It’s not normal missing full days like that, let alone entire weeks…
@Elly Catfox
It is important to love yourself, you are correct, but…it would be nice to be loved at least a little bit. Lately, I’ve been trying to get in touch with myself, but strange occurrences keep happening in my personal life. Every time I start loving, I get my heart shattered into little tiny bite sized pieces…perhaps I don’t know how to properly love myself, since I don’t know how to love, at all. At least I feel a little safer being far away from physical danger, but checking myself into the mental ward every few weeks isn’t something I want to keep doing…
I’ve also been having a terrible breathing problem whilst I am asleep. For about a week, I have been waking up every twenty minutes, gasping for air and having a mini freak out. Could be sleep apnea, but I’ve not had breathing problems this bad while sleeping before…really considering that sleep lab visit.
I am alive and well for now, but I am unsure of my identity or even who or what I am supposed to be…being uncomfortable in your own skin is not a great way to be.
Also, I still feel bad about just flipping on a switch and…I still want to start over like nothing happened, but that ain’t happening any time soon. So, I guess I can let things be as they are…for now.