Posts

@Lunarmoon21
Fr, it’s fuckin weird that we make that medical decision for people born with penises and alter their genitals before they can consent to such a procedure.

Thinking about my new oncologist and how he recommended getting an MRI scan done on my brain, because Gorlin’s Syndrome can cause issues with the brain and it’s obviously important to catch them as soon as possible. Thinking about how my old oncologist ordered a brain MRI for me but we had never discussed me getting one, so we just assumed he had made a mistake and had the technician do my usual right eye orbital area to check for cancer. And then when I saw my old oncologist to discuss the results, I think he said something like, there had been something kinda there since 2017 that they weren’t sure was cancer?? I’m having trouble remembering, but he didn’t mention the brain thing then either. And 2017 had been with the oncologist I’d had before this one, and she had said my MRIs all came back clear of cancer.

Makes me feel pretty confused, and in hindsight, I probably should have asked my old oncologist more questions. Point is, he might have meant for me to get a brain scan all along, but didn’t tell my mom and I that he meant to, neither before nor after. I’m also remembering how I suddenly couldn’t order chemo pills one time because my prescription had run out. I hadn’t seen my old oncologist for an entire year at that point, out of procrastination because it’s the same thing every time (bloodwork is always good, blood pressure always good, like bruh I’m just feeling the chemo vibes and I doubt anything major is going to come up), but also because we were waiting for my oncologist to contact us and he never did. Not even once my prescription had run out. I wasn’t upset, because it was a simple fix - just go see him again. But with my new oncologist bringing up the brain scan thing, it makes me feel like my old one may have been too scatterbrained. Probably for the best that he “left the company” (that’s what it said in the text I got about needing to reschedule my recent appointment due to him no longer being there, but who knows if that’s the real reason) and I got this new one.

Fuck circumcision

Mood really tanks sometimes. Was gonna take a few more chemo doses while it rains and then take a break, but I probably need to tap out now. Also gonna look into walx at like 3 or 4pm soon. I’ve wondered if my mood swings are vitamin D deficiency and my new oncologist raised concerns about that without me having said anything my mood.

The hood to my car flew up and broke while driving on the freeway. Luckily I was near an exit ramp when it happened. Looks like I’m going to have to go to a body shop.

The hood to my car won’t open.

It’s been raining very heavily. I walked into my hallway and noticed a wet spot on the carpet. I figured one of the cats threw up or maybe peed… until a drop hit my head. I looked up and the ceiling is kinda messed up and drops were beaded. We have a ceiling leak. Lovely 🙃

The PC version of GTA5 is still infested with modders. And apparently, they’ve figured out how to kick other players from sessions and even crash the game.

A friend of mine posted that she and her family has the stomach flu. This confirms something has been going around, and is most likely the culprit behind what happened to Elly and I. My wife, Gwen, has also been experiencing stomach issues.

This is proof of the efficacy of masking. I’ve gotten sick from Del Taco twice. Once in 2019 and again yesterday. In 2019, I was at my then-boyfriend’s house, and ended up having to stay the night because I didn’t think we would make it to my house without his car getting vom’d in. I spent the evening in pain, voiding my stomach from both ends. Yesterday, I had some slight stomach discomfort and then what happened in the shower. Still bad, yes, but much more tolerable. I think the employee wearing a mask saved me from another 2019.

I don’t think this is an issue with Del Taco specifically. Fast food workers aren’t given enough sick leave, so they’re forced to work while sick. So, I am hereby quitting fast food. I’m lucky I hadn’t taken chemo for a little over a month in 2019. I may have needed a visit to the ER, if not worse, if I hadn’t been on a prolonged chemo break. I should have quit then. Fast food is not worth gambling my life on.

Why am I so bored?

@Elly Catfox
Well what do you know, I ended up shitting myself a little in the shower, then I started feeling a little lightheaded and weak so I turned it off and was trying to dry myself off at least a little. My body usually gives me a decent amount of warning before I throw up, but I guess we’re skipping that step today because I ended up very suddenly vomiting. Twice. Not my best morning 😓

My body has been going through a lot lately. Ovarian cyst causing soreness and my period isn’t happening (pregnancy is impossible unless I’m the next Virgin Mary), gadolinium dye used in my MRI to get a better look at my cyst, a couple vials of blood drawn from my other arm, chemo doses being carefully taken or skipped, and Del Taco. I know, probably a silly thing to end that list on, but what happened to me in the shower has me skeptical of continuing my post-appointments Del Taco runs. I got it after my MRI, and again yesterday after my labs. I had a moment of feeling weak and dehydrated after the first one, and now this. I think it’s time I cut ties with fast food for good just in case. Those are all possible contributing factors for what happened to me in the shower, plus one of the Del Taco workers was wearing a mask. Possible that they had a virus of some kind, and even with having a mask on, a very weak version of a virus is still going to hit me. I am coming up on my 10th anniversary of routinely weakening my immune system and stomach with chemo.

@Garka la Garka
Your friend is showing telltale signs of being in an abusive relationship. Her girlfriend is already cheating, and likely being extremely controlling and manipulative. That’s how people in relationships like that act - lashing out at anyone their partner decides they don’t like (which ends up being pretty much everyone) and oftentimes even people their partner knows little to nothing about, too. I know because I’ve been there. I remember lashing out at my friend Jake for making a joke about my “Jigglypuffs”, which, admittedly that was inappropriate, but my response was disproportionately hostile. Because it would have been an entire fight with my ex if I didn’t respond that way. A person in a relationship like that lives in constant fear of messing up, having to walk on eggshells because the abusive partner will meet perceived slights with explosive anger. It sounds like your friend’s girlfriend is telling her that you’re bad and whatnot, so she feels pressured into being cruel to you. The cheating is an even bigger red flag because abusers are almost always cheating the whole time. Friend is likely facing frequent accusations of cheating from her girlfriend, because abusers tend to assume their victims act and do things the same ways they do. Abusers then project their worst traits onto their victims.

If abuse is indeed what’s going on here, I’m sorry to say there isn’t a lot you can do. A primary goal of abusers is to isolate their victims from everyone else, which is another probable reason your friend is lashing out and cutting you off. If you’re still able to talk to her, you can try telling her you think she’s being abused, but there’s a good chance she’ll refuse to listen. Abusers manipulate their victims into believing their lies and delusions. I’m sorry to say your friend will likely have to realize it herself and escape of her own volition. She definitely needs to, though, because if it’s abuse as I suspect, it’s life or death. Victims who don’t escape often end up killed.

I hope I’m not being too alarmist, I just studied up a lot on abusive relationships after I got out of my second one. At best, that relationship sounds very toxic. Your friend deserves better. Hug

I’m sad, really.

Looking back, before being here helping, I helped in a Spanish-speaking furry community on Telegram. I spent two years, dedicating myself hours every day to things, be it monitoring chats, talking, and giving life to the chats, or even doing mega huge projects in the community, like contests and events haha.

Months ago I left, simply for telling the truth to one of the owners that the other was… let’s say a bad person, in addition to cheating her at the back (They were a couple). I showed her evidence, testimonies, and everything. At first she thanked me, but then she became more neurotic over time, she blamed me for everything, she blocked me, and now she doesn’t let me go to the community of a thousand people where I had dozens of people who loved me and missed me.

I feel lately… alone. Only in the total sense of the word, on the internet of course. It was my refuge, and I worked hard for it, but now I look back and it’s like… useless effort, wasted and on top of that it was undervalued.

And later you find out from third parties that all the effort I made for the community was simply wasted, no admin or owner does anything, it was filled with riff-raff, and it is slowly… decaying. Two years that without pride I can say I threw away.

It’s not the first time. I am guided by a strong moral compass, I want to do good, and help people who really need it, for me we are all equal, whether we are new or veteran users. And that has led me to problems in the communities, where there always seems to be favoritism. Not just fandom, role-playing communities, anime, everything in general.

I’m starting to think, maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I am a social misfit. Or, gods willing, I’m a bad person, with a hero complex, hahaha.

Only want to vent that here. Maybe someone can give me some support, in form of advices, heh. I always love to know others persons perspectives

@Elly Catfox
Is it weird to say I’ve wanted to describe diarrhea like that before too and I really appreciate that you have?

I’m assuming this is a stomach bug, food poisoning, or weed overdose. Most likely the former. I hope you feel better soon :( Hugs

Recommended options for recovery meals when you’re able to eat again:

I typed part of this edit while having diarrhea of my own and I’m off to the kitchen to go make option A: vegetarian lasagna and raviolis

Holy shit I’m pissing out my ass and vomiting at the same time oh God I feel fucking horrible 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮😿😿😿😿😿😿😿

Okay, I’m gonna relay what I’ve learned. I have clear picture of the situation now.

Lesson 1: Zangi is sketchy af. I didn’t understand why I was told to switch over to there when it’s functionally the same as Facebook messenger. I think it’s because data isn’t encrypted on there, so it’s much easier to commit crimes on. WhatsApp also seems popular for that kind of thing too. Additionally, images sent on these apps are often small-only, so sketchy photo manipulation can be much more difficult to notice. Be wary of anyone who begins talking to you in one place, then asks to switch to apps such as these.

Lesson 2: Let’s learn a little about money laundering! I didn’t mention this because I didn’t think it was relevant, but I had told the scammer that I don’t have very much money. I no longer think they were trying to scam money out of me, though it’s probable they would have asked for money had this continued. They told me their daughter was in boarding school and they needed to use their Western Union app to pay school fees, but the app wouldn’t work. What was going to happen, was I was going to open a Western Union account under my name and the scammer would have used it to transfer money. A romantic partner using your bank account to transfer money doesn’t sound illegal, right? Well, that actually counts as money laundering and would have gotten me into pretty serious legal trouble! I think the reason the scammer didn’t catfish me for very long before bringing this up, is they had a lot of money they wanted to launder sooner rather than later.

Lesson 3: I’ve been thinking about how shady it is when scammers say they can’t access their bank accounts. An app not working is much more believable, but in a lot of these cases, they claim they just can’t access their bank accounts. That’s not really something that happens. Call the bank if your account is frozen and it should be able to be unfrozen. Keep in mind these scammers always claim to have jobs that pay well, so there’s no bank issues due to poverty to factor in here.

Lesson 4: Do be wary even with people you’ve met with in person! A couple of these victims even met up with the person they were interested in, only to still get scammed.

Lesson 5: Don’t be afraid to speak up. Over 4,500 reported cases in 2018. And those are only the reported ones! You are not alone if something like this ever happens to you.

I’ve barely even gotten far in my playthrough of an Emerald romhack, not completely because of this, but partially. I’m into this documentary about scammers for now (it’s a compilation of episodes so it’s long lol), but after, I think it may be time to return to my true love:

@ᎶㄖҜㄩ 乃ㄥ卂匚Ҝ
I misread that as “Utaus are terrible” and I was gonna say “no you”.

Utah drivers are fucking terrible!

What do you call it when someone asks you for help with their Western Union app by… asking you to download the app and make your own account? You call it a fuck that! Combine with:
🚩She has only ever shown me pictures, no voice messages or video
🚩No trace of her online I can find to be reassured of her identity (Facebook profile barely has anything on it and even lists the incorrect location of where she says she lives).
🚩Said she fell for me and talks about being lonely which is a mixed bag - people can be genuine when they say these things, even quickly (my wife and I were genuine about it) but it can also be an emotional manipulation tactic
🚩Kept pressuring me to talk on Zangi even though we had been using Facebook messenger and there is zero difference between the two apps other than Zangi boasting about “anonymous” and “private” it is. I couldn’t download it for days because my phone wouldn’t download any apps in general until I finally figured out a fix. No big deal to me at first, until the whole WU app thing
🚩Hasn’t replied to our chat since she said “Well, it’s your choice and life” about me refusing to make an account on the WU app - benefit of the doubt because it has been nighttime (though it has shown her to have gotten online a few times since) but I don’t like how much that sounds like an ultimatum. Nor do I like how this has the potential to turn into ghosting if I don’t make an account on the WU app.
🚩For anyone who doesn’t know what Western Union is, it’s a major bank in the US. See the problem yet? It’s possible that making an account on the app would require my debit card info.
🚩Claims she needs the help with the app (which she says isn’t working on her phone) to make payments to her daughter’s caretaker. Daughter is in boarding school. Has sent a pic of her daughter and another pic of herself with her daughter. So, you can see why there’s some sense of legitimacy that she is who she says she is, but definitely not enough for something like this. The daughter thing is also an appeal to emotion, which yes could be legit, or could be a manipulation tactic.
🚩”I’ve been telling you how I have been struggling with it for days now” as if I was somehow supposed to do something about it??? Obviously, she’s states away so I couldn’t exactly take her phone and try to fix the app on there. It’s possible I’m assigning a negative intent to this sentence when there wasn’t actually one, but I really don’t like it. On the one hand, maybe I’m not being catfished and she’s neurodivergent or something. On the other hand, maybe I am and the implication is that I should have downloaded the WU app sooner, which I really really don’t like. It makes me wonder if she’s committed identity theft so often that she just sort of expected me to offer to download the app myself? Maybe I’m missing something because I’ve never done my banking using an app, but I just don’t like it. Really really don’t like doing anything involving banking with someone I’ve only been talking to for around a month and whose actual identity is questionable.
🚩I’ve sent her many voice messages (thankfully nothing too intimate) and she has never sent a single one. Chalked it up to being busy and even potentially having vocal dysphoria, but now…

If she can give me enough proof that she is who she says she is, I’m willing to keep working on this relationship. Otherwise, this is where I nope tf out. I hate what happened tonight. Everything seemed like it was going very well up to this point, and most things are only leaning so heavily towards red flaggy after having been asked to download and create an account on the WU app. Sigh… well, I did say I was going to be spending time making sure she’s really trustworthy. Just a huge bummer that it now seems like there’s a strong possibility of the answer being no.

Edit: Okay so, all it took was Googling “Zangi scams” and I’m just starting to go down the rabbit hole of romance scammers. Already, too much lines up. Pretending to be a doctor, meeting and talking on Facebook at first but then moving over to Zangi. The too-quick declaration of feelings. Some people in the Youtube comments of a video I’ve clicked on but decided to go comments first, are even saying that they’ve encountered women who are being honest about their identity but still trying to scam people out of money. So, let this be a lesson to everyone that this kind of thing is something to be very aware of. If they ask for money, run! Or even be like me and run the second a banking app is mentioned lol 😅 Sucks for sure, but at least I don’t feel hurt because shit ended so quickly and I ran when I should have

Pretty unepic of my body to get post-exertional malaise from my walk -_- Maybe I’ll feel better if I have someone onion rings and apple juice, I’ll go do that soon

I really hate being on swing shift at times…

@StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys
My dad had one so bad that throwing up so hard gave him a hernia

I know how awful those are, having had a horrible one 5ish years ago and food and chemo poisoning my stomach from time to time. Hope you feel better soon!

Sorry for your loss hugs Hang in there

I miss my mother

I just had the worst stomach bug I’ve had since I was a kid.

@FruityPWN
You have usefulness and value too

@Elly Catfox
I used to feel a ton of self-loathing and still can on rare occasion, so I get how you feel. I want to help you feel better, though I’m mostly at a loss for what I can do other than be here for you. And I mean, it sucks because that is all I can really do. Can’t magic your brain into helping you feel better. But I will be here, because I know how awful it feels to feel alone, and how much better it feels to have people there for you. I wish I had answers or at least something, but we’re trying our best and that’s all we can do. Try to think positively if you can, maybe delve into special interests that make you happy if you can. It’s helped me a lot and I’m living proof that you can feel better from trauma and depression with the right healing and time. Not completely better - I hate to say I don’t think that’s possible. But, better. A good deal better. And it’s good that you reach out on the thread here and whatnot because one thing I didn’t used to do was talk to people about how I was feeling, and I’ve been doing better and getting better about talking through my feelings since I started doing that.