Posts

Lol Foxy Nerd thought. She fuckin thought this isn’t a good purpose. What a goober.

𓆩♡𓆪 ʂէҽҽղ 𓆩♡𓆪 — Yesterday at 11:53 PM
part of my purpose in life seems to be to provide chill vibes amid companionship, idk maybe it’s just wishful thinking on my part like oh i’m here to cuddle tons of girls, that’s what gives me purpose and that’s like.. well is that what it is or is that just what i wish it was lmao

Strange ☆ Kitten — Yesterday at 11:53 PM
It is what your purpose is
[11:53 PM]
People are lonely, Christine
[11:54 PM]
You help them

I don’t put people on pedestals. I see their true inner beauty and lift them up to my level.

Brain.fm ad on YouTube, says it helps with relaxation and focus. I don’t think I need it, but purrhaps could be helpful >^_^<

I also work on what I want, when I want. If I am inspired to make something else, I will work on that rather than Dead Moon. It takes time away from it of course but who cares? I will make whatever art I want whenever I want. Art comes from the soul. Pour out the creativity in whatever way it comes out.

Free yourself from all masters you don’t want. Do what you want, when you want. Within reason I do suppose, at times compromises need to be reached, like when you’re making plans with someone. But when you are alone, you can do whatever you want. Do not let capitalism control you.

Killjoys make some noise and stay dangerous :3

Thinking about Cactus Bloom and Super Nova. They’ve always dealt with a far greater level of depression and stress than even me. I dropped out of college because I had cancer, Cactus dropped out because it got to be too much for him. And each reason is equally valid.

When I was going, I would generally take two classes a week. High school taught me that I couldn’t handle a huge workload. It would take me longer to get any sort of degree, and then I never did. And that’s okay.

Forgive and have patience with yourself if you’re only able to do so much. You are loved regardless.

I’ve grappled with feeling like I’m too much. But I’m not. I’m beautiful.

I think Cactus grappled with the opposite. That he wasn’t enough. But he was, through his existence and purrsonality alone. All that mattered was that he was in my life.

It’s hard to look outside ourselves and see the impact we make.

Had I not had my breakdown, I would not be here reflecting on everything. Realizing my impact. But it was a chain reaction, caused by others as well. There is someone who has helped me massively by being the way they are. Taught me to love myself. Motivated me to make the friend army and realize how loved I am. Gather them so I no longer cry at night.

You help just by being yourself. You are enough.

You can’t rush art. Let art and life be lived at the pace they will be lived at. Dead Moon may take me a very long time. Maybe I’ll never get it done. We’ll see.

But I am making a difference in the world either way through the power of my existence. My friends and my mother all do as well, in their various ways. If we were not the way we were, we wouldn’t be making the difference we are making.

All of us make lights. All of us shine brightly. Killjoys never die, nya :3

The music we listen to, contains lyrics about machines that kill fascists, worshipping Satan, murder, and so on. It is edgy, raw, perhaps a touch scary at times. But it is our outlet. It is our vent. It is our noise. It is how we process our emotions. It is healthy and it is harmless. I feel that now, now that my meds have kicked in and I’m experiencing far less social anxiety. Perhaps I need not be afraid of coming off as scary. It’s not like Badheart doesn’t also listen to the edgiest stuff, lol >^-^<

It is the thing that unites us. It is the electricity in our very souls. It is what we need to survive and thrive in a world that tries to keep us down.

We traveled back in time by my sharing the designs from many years ago, but now let’s travel to Oct 23, 2022 via Discord. I could use a little something more to help relax me, so here we go :3

I wrote a parody of Steam Powered Giraffe’s Bad Days On The Horizon, which is linked in the music thread. I wrote it about Big Yales and yard sards. ArgonianLizardfolk is Cactus :3

Strange ☆ Kitten — 10/23/2022 9:39 AM
There
[9:39 AM]
Were
[9:39 AM]
Big yales on the horizon
[9:39 AM]
Way before I met you
[9:40 AM]
There were big yales on the horizon
[9:41 AM]
That were dark, so big and so blue
[9:42 AM]
I could never walk easily through yards
[9:42 AM]
Not like it should be, they were covered up by sards

𓆩♡𓆪 ʂէҽҽղ 𓆩♡𓆪 — 10/23/2022 9:43 AM
pfffsfhf

Strange ☆ Kitten — 10/23/2022 9:44 AM
Navigation was so hard
[9:44 AM]
Oh darling
[9:44 AM]
I arrived to the sale
[9:45 AM]
But there was only a big yale
[9:45 AM]
Yes I arrived to the sale
[9:45 AM]
But there was only a big yale
[9:46 AM]
Oh darling I could see those cardboard signs
[9:46 AM]
In the morning sky, they were spelled oh so wrong
[9:47 AM]
And oh darling
[9:47 AM]
You were in the yards
[9:49 AM]
But was it me causing all the sards?

𓆩♡𓆪 ʂէҽҽղ 𓆩♡𓆪 — 10/23/2022 9:49 AM

Strange ☆ Kitten — 10/23/2022 9:50 AM
There were big yales
[9:50 AM]
On the horizon
[9:50 AM]
Way before I met you
[9:50 AM]
There were big yales
[9:50 AM]
On the horizon
[9:51 AM]
That were dark, so big and so blue
[9:53 AM]
I could never walk easily through yards
Not like it should be, they were covered up by sards
Navigation was so hard
[9:55 AM]
I always told myself I’d never big yale
[9:55 AM]
Again, but that obviously wasn’t true
[9:56 AM]
Because I found you
[9:56 AM]
Oh darling I arrived to the sale
[9:56 AM]
But there was only a big yale

Strange ☆ Kitten — 10/23/2022 9:57 AM
Yes, I’ve arrived to the sale
[9:58 AM]
But there was only
[9:58 AM]
I hope it’s not lonely
[9:58 AM]
Are you ready for macaroni

𓆩♡𓆪 ʂէҽҽղ 𓆩♡𓆪 — 10/23/2022 9:58 AM
!

Strange ☆ Kitten — 10/23/2022 9:58 AM
But there was only a big yale
[10:00 AM]
If there’s no reason for you to yard sard, darling
[10:00 AM]
Might you sard longer, I wouldn’t mind, darling
[10:01 AM]
If there’s a reason for you to yard sard, darling

ArgonianLizardfolk — 10/23/2022 10:01 AM
I’m dying

Strange ☆ Kitten — 10/23/2022 10:01 AM
I’ll hope to yard sard another time
[10:01 AM]
Darling
[10:02 AM]
You make the yale grow so lovely
[10:02 AM]
So big (so big, so big, so big)
[10:02 AM]
So big

ArgonianLizardfolk — 10/23/2022 10:02 AM
DHOAHDKAJSOAK

𓆩♡𓆪 ʂէҽҽղ 𓆩♡𓆪 — 10/23/2022 10:02 AM
its growing ohgod

I feel a lot better nyaow >^-^<

Antichrist Anarchist. Writhing Sorrow. Violent Scare Machine. Squealing Bladder Pancakes. Squeely. Oh, right, the strange kitten is strange because she squees instead of meows. Blood Shade. Kaiju Fiend. Morbid Monster. Spring Storm. All various names I’ve used throughout the years.

Strange Kitten is really the one that has stuck. My ineffable, effable, effanineffable, deep and inscrutable, singular, name >^_^<

Did you know that Cactus Bloom and Spring Storm have designs? I’ll be sharing them shortly, as well as hitting up the music thread. We’re gonna travel back in time yet again!

Cellar Door.

Edit: And perhaps I should clarify, I was just edgy and into horror films. A lot of these are from when I was a teen, heh. With me, it’s always references or metaphors and such :3

𓆩♡𓆪 ʂէҽҽղ 𓆩♡𓆪 — Today at 1:12 AM
and yes, you possess quite the deebful presence uwu
[1:12 AM]
i saw a tired orange bee bumbling above the grass in late evening while on a walk with my dad
[1:12 AM]
these summer bees make me think of ya

Strange ☆ Kitten — Today at 1:13 AM
I am but a bee of the summer, buzzing along

𓆩♡𓆪 ʂէҽҽղ 𓆩♡𓆪 — Today at 1:14 AM
one got caught in our sunroom the other day. i was unsure of how to proceed. we tried keeping the outer door open for a lil bit
[1:15 AM]
checked back later to see two bee bodies
[1:15 AM]
poor bees
[1:15 AM]
at least they had each other
[1:15 AM]
or maybe they dueled for honor
[1:16 AM]
TO BEE
[1:16 AM]
OR NOT
[1:16 AM]
TO BEE

I got it, I’ll use Killjoy names. Gareth has made things kinda confusing cuz he once said something like “the collective that is Gareth”, and to further complicate matters, my friend on here also chose the name Nova. So I haven’t been using it in part because that might further cause confusion. He can be Cactus Bloom when he was Gareth, and Super Nova as he is currently. Reminder that the reason we broke up was because a new personality took him over.

…fuck, really? I don’t see his poem about how the world needs bipolar people. I was gonna close out Super Nova’s birthday by sharing it. Damn this man’s depression. Damn it all to hell. He deletes his stuff so much because of it. Alas. It was about how being bipolar helps us create beautiful things. Dammit Super Nova, your poem was a beautiful thing.

Oh well. He’s still alive, at least, and I wished him a happy birthday and sent him a Longe Boye some hours ago.

I’ve been awake for a very long time, so it’s time for me to catch some z’s. So long and good night, y’all 💚

Hey! I found old videos of Gareth unironically loving Pokemon! His first name is Riley and middle name is Gareth. He started going by Gareth around the time he moved to Arizona, and this was before that so he goes by Riley >^_^< I still have the Yveltal stylus :3 I forget if I have the Dive Ball still, lol. Cameo of me at the end of Part 2 in a couple collage photos x3

We raise a glass to Gareth today! 🥛 (It’s a glass of water I can’t have alcohol >^_^<)

Also, his old favourite Pokemon list :3

Today is July 1st, Gareth’s birthday! And boy, do I have a story for all of you 8D

It was at Gareth’s birthday party some years ago, that I pulled probably the best prank I will ever pull. You see, Gareth’s favourite video game character was Yoshi. One evening on Discord, I was going on about how weird Classic Yoshi loox compared to his modern design. He’s all long and his hands and feet are oddly proportioned. Well, Gareth completely loved and was endeared by his classic design, and we came to call that design Longe Boye. When shopping for his birthday, I don’t know, a couple years or so down the line, what should I find but a figure of Longe Boye. Of course I had to get it. Then, I hatched my evil plan 😈

I would always make him cards by drawing on a sheet of paper, folded into fourths such that it makes a little card. I drew Longe Boye as one of the drawings on his card. Then, at his party, I made sure to mention Longe Boye. Naturally, he always reads his cards first. when he picked up his gift, I said, “Is it Longe Boye?” Then I said, “Just kidding. If it was Longe Boye, would I really spoil it on the card?” But then… giggle but, but then… snort it was! 🤣 Absolutely legendary prank, if I do say so myself >:3c

Have a joyous rest of your day! >^_^<

How queer will my hours be now that pride month is over? This queer >^_^<

Mrs. Landers was a health nut.
She cooked food in a wok.
Mr. Harris was her boyfriend,
and he had a great big-

Cock-a-doodle-doodle.
The rooster just won’t quit,
and I don’t want my breakfast,
because it tastes like-

Shih Tzus make good house pets.
They’re cuddly and sweet.
Monkeys aren’t good to have,
’cause they like to beat their-

Meeting in the office.
A meeting in the hall.
The boss, he wants to see you,
so you can suck his-

Balzac was a writer.
He lived with Allen Funt.
Mrs. Roberts didn’t like him,
but that’s ‘cause she’s a-

Contaminated water,
can really make you sick.
Your bladder gets infected,
and blood comes out your-

Dictate what I’m saying,
‘cause it will bring you luck,
and if you all don’t like it,
I don’t give a flying FUCK!

Thinking about how I only ever poke fun at someone if it’s something I think we can both laugh about. As an example, one time, my best friend Christine made a character on Hero Forge and sent it to me. The gender of the character would have otherwise been ambiguous, but Christine only makes female characters. So I was like, “She blah blah blah,” and Christine was like, “I love how you automatically knew she’s female” or something like that. To which I replied, “Ah yes, a character made by Christine, I wonder which gender she’ll be” xDD

It’s only ever if I think it’ll be good-natured and fun, do I ever poke fun. And never with the intent of hurting feelings. So if I ever have, it was unintentional because I am awkward and autistic at times :3

Edit: Oh of course Zach sends me a relevant video by chance. Mindblindess

Literally the first comment when I scrolled:
“A rule I developed to deal with sarcasm, jokes, inter-friend kidding, et cætera, is : If what the person said doesn’t make sense, or doesn’t seem to have an evident reason that they might be “attacking” you, it is probably because what they are saying is a joke, sarcasm, or a friendly kidding/insult/joke. Default to “they have good intentions” unless further evidence indicates it is not.” - @busimagen

A moth landed on my leg.
I am bless >^_^<

The Simpsons - Homer Gets Stuck

Your friendly neighborhood killjoy here to deliver unto you the weekend pancake report on hovers over time and date Thursday 🤪

The two best solutions to the trolley problem: 1 2

@𝕭𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙
Pocket Sand!

I also feel so much less guilt about everything upon learning more and more truths about the state of my health.

Seriously. Level 12 vitamin D when the lowest healthy level is 30. I’m still not over that. I’ve had less than half the lowest amount for who knows how long. No wonder… everything. Just everything, all the issues I’ve been having.

I hope everyone else’s vitamin levels are good. See doctors if you can, y’all ♡

I thought I barely had friends but this whole time, that was just my depression talking. An entire community of friends has cared about me so much more than I realized this entire time. I have already achieved my goals of connecting with people, making a difference, and saving lives. That has become visible as the love I put into the world has been reflected back at me tenfold. And the vast, vast majority of it has been accomplished simply from my laptop. Someone who is crippled by chemo can still achieve great things. I’m getting all emotional about all the support everyone has shown these past few months. I even gained a brother tonight. So much for being an only child when found family wins <3

And the awesome thing is I’m young. 34 isn’t even halfway through my life in all likelihood. Another goal of mine has been to live a long life despite being on chemo. Bring it on!

(With all due respect to puppygirls) I :3 am talking