I draw dicks

Dicks are nice and hard. Everyone should draw some dick!

Whose been drawin dicks?

@SerenePony  
This
 
Edit: Oh oops I posted not anon. Oh well it’s fine haha.

@OliverHancock  
Thats so perfect!  
Also here is a video tutoroll on drawin’ dicks, dont forget to use the spray tool and listen to Smash mouth midis.
 
No need to be anon if you drawin’ dicks.

<3  
A new hobby might be good. I have trouble with sexuality in general. Got molested as a kid and went through a lot of other fucked up shit but yeah uhh, new hobbies yay lol.

@OliverHancock  
That sounds like quite a personal thing to share, especially online.

@SerenePony  
I’m an open book. Also just kinda cracked last night. IDK. Don’t worry. I’m fine. I mean what, are you mad at me for mentioning it or something?

@OliverHancock  
Its okay, don’t worry dude. As long as you are doing ok, thats the main thing. And sorry if I came off as mad or judgemental, I study counselling for a career so I have learned to be weary of stuff like this, even mentioning it online.  
Guess I went into therapist mode. But naw I’m not mad at you or anything.

@SerenePony  
I’m not okay but I keep going. I have to.

I hope you aren’t going through it alone, do you have support from friends, family, somewhere to be able to talk about it?

@SerenePony  
I see a therapist every week. After 13 years of searching, I found one this past year who both A. isn’t completely ineffective, and B., actually gives a damn. So, that’s nice.
 
No offensea, but the mental health industry sucks ass though. I hope you’re one of the good ones. I’ve spent nearly 2 years of my life institutionalized and it was almost completely pointless. I came out of those looney bins (no offense, some of us just called em that in there to keep a sense of humor and survive) with more screws loose than when I went in.
 
Why is it, that unless you have money, when you see a med manager/PA/actual psychiatrist if you’re lucky in the US, that you go in and see someone who gives you 3 different medications and 2 different diagnoses after talking to you for less than 5 minutes and then saying “See ya” so they can get onyo the next client? Why the fuck do so few people in this country care, that it takes 13 years of begging these people to let you slow down and try different options slowly to figure out if there’s any medication that might not be too strong and might actually work, one at a time, to be able to find anything? Why do these godforsaken assholes make up their minds about what is right for their clients before they even listen to what their clients are telling them? I almost died once after my throat closed up when they forced me to take haldol at one point even after I kept telling them it was killing me and I couldn’t take it. I have permanently never felt quite the same, quite as sharp as I used to since that incident and that was 6 years ago. The next month is a completely hazy fog in my memory and I just remember being extremely confused and scared. They did that to me after I told them repeatedly it was killing me and I was sure I had some kind of allergy and they repeatedly gaslighted me. They even almost did it again even after the incident.
 
The mental health industry has a lot to answer for. The only reason I kept going back is because I desperately need help and have had so many times in my life where I’ve had nowhere else to turn. But why is it that it’s always done more harm than good until the last year when I just got lucky and finally found some decent people? Decent people in this industry shouldn’t be that rare. I might be crazy, but I’m not stupid. I know what I’ve been through and I know negligence and mishandling of care when I see it. It’s everywhere in this industry and yet there’s nothing most any of us can do about it. It’s so normalized most people don’t even see it. But it’s true, and I’m so sick of it.

I have been gaslighted, neglected, and lied to so many times by the mental health industry and I’m not alone. I’m lucky I can even articulate my grievances, but welcome to Asperger’s I guess. I’m just so incredibly disgusted by it. It makes me sick even thinking about it. The sheer ridiculousness of so much of it. We pour millions of dollars into facilities in this country where people go to sit on the couch and watch TV surrounded by criminals, the mentally handicapped, and people with vastly different mental health problems all under one roof screaming and causing problems. We give them less treatment and care than they get on the outside and let them rot in there, and then when they get out we expect them to magically be better somehow instead of worse. It’s a complete farce. It’s an insult to collective intelligence. It’s utter nonsense. It’s disgusting, and yet our nation’s voters, our parents, our psychiatrist and therapists and other mental health professionals are complicit in it. We’re all complicit in it for letting this continue like this and saying “this is normal. This is just the way it is.” It’s absolutely disgusting the way that we treat people in this country. It’s maddening and no, I’m not violent and I’m not gonna go do somethimg crazy, but I can understand the thought process of people with no hope who go on shooting sprees and shoot up schools and doctors offices and the institutions which are rightfully symbols of suffering and utter negligence in this country. At the end of the day, no, I don’t agree with it, but I can understand why people feel that way and you should too.
 
This is what happens when you treat people like dollar signs.

Far too often we tell people to get help without realizing how incredibly difficult, costly, and ineffective that is the majority of the time. I’m not saying don’t try, but damnit, it’s incredibly frustrating. We need reform. We need to stop collectively yelling people to get help without making the help we have already actually do some good.

The costly bills, gaslighting, negative effects of medication, lack of positive effects, and lack of care that I’ve received from the mental health industry over the years has caused far more harm than good and it’s only in recent times that I’ve finally found some medication that seems like it might be doing more good than harm, however subtle, and that I have a therapist who actually gives a shit and works to understand something about their clients instead of treating them like cookie cutters with checkbooks.

@OliverHancock  
I have heard about the mental health sector in the USA, how people with mental health issues spanning from levels A through C are treated, like you said, more like dollar signs than people who need help or someone to talk to. I have not heard of such things happening where I’m from, a lot of us are under guidelines to put our clients needs first.
 
I know that there its incredibly pricey and I have heard that a lot of practitioners seem to believe that they are the experts on your life and what you should do, when the best thing is to have a client make their choices while we encourage positive choices and changes. It should be down to the client to decide when they feel like they are done. Thats my belief anyway.
 
It seems to be the norm that a lot of countries dont seem to put much care into mental health, we get it here too. We try to work around it ourselves anyway. In our practices, we dont treat people any differently, we care for and work with them, if not, we will refer them to someone who can. You have been let down by the system in the USA by the sounds of it, In your time of need.
 
Its hard to hear how the mental health sector there has gone, even though counselling and therapy pretty much originated in the USA.

And the neoliberal establishment wonders why people are angry. They wonder why people want a revolution, and they wonder why people won’t vote for Biden or Trump, and they wonder why people want real change. The suburbanite yuppies all shake their heads in disbelief and stick their noses in the air and think they’re so fricken high and mighty because they’re not poor rednecks, they’re “the good white people” who “care about social justice” even though they really fucking don’t. You can say it on paper all you want, but until you actually write your statespeople and mental health professionals, get out there and protest, stop voting for the lesser of 2 evils, and listen to the people who are suffering the most, you’re part of the problem.
 
I’ve done all of that and I’ve felt so so incredibly alone while doing it, but at least I’ve done it. But it takes more than 1 person to get out there with a sign every now and then and 1 person to write their congressmen. And until we can have everyone rising up and saying enough is enough and making the establishment actually fear the alternative, they won’t listen, and they won’t care. They will give false promises and lame platitudes, messages of empty hope and empty change, thinly veiled as “progress” when held up in comparison to the far-right.

@OliverHancock  
Just seen your other messages, and you are right about how costly it is to get help in the USA, not only health care but mental health there. I have heard therapist costing up to $60 to $120 a session! Thats ridiculous!  
Here we have it priced depending on various factors, client and counsellor.

@SerenePony  
:’(

@SerenePony  
Thanks for listening anyway… I just want to be okay… I’ll be alright… Just gotta get through the day.

You are very upset and frustrated with all this. Heck even I believe the USA need to make changes to their mental heath sector, their whole healthcare thing in general. Im sure there must be a way to make it work. Governments in general have that “we know best” mentality.
 
You feeling alright though? looks like a lot you got off your chest there.

@OliverHancock  

 
Its what I do, well what Im working on as a career. I want to help people.  
And take it one step at a time, at your pace.  
If you find a way to go in a positive direction, you encourage that in yourself. If you need to let out some emotion, dont be afraid, find a safe place and let it all out.

@SerenePony  
I’m scared and confused and hopeless. I don’t know how to cope but I’m going about my day with my head down just to get through it.

@OliverHancock  
And thats not the way you want to go through your day, right?

@SerenePony  
I don’t know. I’m just trying to move forward.

@OliverHancock  
Moving forward, maybe you’ll find that first step to make each day a little easier.