WellโฆI feel much more content now. Iโve moved from that shit hole of a house, but something strange happenedโฆI seem to have blips in memory, to which, days seem like a matter of hours. Iโve missed many weeks, hence why I havenโt been updating, though itโs only now that Iโm recalling. Itโs not normal missing full days like that, let alone entire weeksโฆ
@Elly Catfox
It is important to love yourself, you are correct, butโฆit would be nice to be loved at least a little bit. Lately, Iโve been trying to get in touch with myself, but strange occurrences keep happening in my personal life. Every time I start loving, I get my heart shattered into little tiny bite sized piecesโฆperhaps I donโt know how to properly love myself, since I donโt know how to love, at all. At least I feel a little safer being far away from physical danger, but checking myself into the mental ward every few weeks isnโt something I want to keep doingโฆ
Iโve also been having a terrible breathing problem whilst I am asleep. For about a week, I have been waking up every twenty minutes, gasping for air and having a mini freak out. Could be sleep apnea, but Iโve not had breathing problems this bad while sleeping beforeโฆreally considering that sleep lab visit.
I am alive and well for now, but I am unsure of my identity or even who or what I am supposed to beโฆbeing uncomfortable in your own skin is not a great way to be.
Also, I still feel bad about just flipping on a switch andโฆI still want to start over like nothing happened, but that ainโt happening any time soon. So, I guess I can let things be as they areโฆfor now.