Vent Thread

StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys

Meow meow :3
@Elly Catfox
I do have acceptance in the friend army I have built, and in my mom for the most part. You’d be surprised the amount of commonalities I’ve found between her and I.
Makes me wonder though, have you found acceptance? I know I’ve hurt you and I’m sorry, but know that I do accept you.
StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys

Meow meow :3
Guidance and feedback. Give me guidance and feedback. Heck, I’ve asked people before if they wanted brevity and didn’t get direct feedback. I’ve even gotten the opposite - one time I said I was gonna take a break from being on here and it was met with “Why would you try to leave?” I accept responsibility and I do get that circumstances and people change. It’s just, at times it also feels like I’m being pulled in multiple directions, and that a lot of the turmoil could have been avoided if people were just more blunt with me. My DMs are right there, y’all.
Elly Catfox
Birthday Fur - Joined within the first year of the site operation and has had significant amount of activity as of June 1, 2021.
Derpy Fur - Prevented Furbooru's terrible fate in April of 2021.
Astra - Helped choose the name for our mascot - Astra.
Passing of the Eclipse - Joined within the first month of public opening and has had at least some activity as of August 3, 2020.
Bronze Piece - Bronze Supporter on Patreon

nya
Socialization is the most important thing RN but you have to learn to not be an asshole when you do it.
What you need to do is to
  1. Socialize on platforms like VRchat- they have a PC mode so you can find like-minded individuals
  2. Meditate- I recommend alternating between guided meditations on YouTube and vapassna, but yoga is good too.
  3. Walk and exercise when your anxiety is in the red zone. You can’t do other things when you are in the red, unless you’re tired.
  4. don’t underestimate how tired you are. If you find yourself not getting good sleep- I’m talking 8 hours plus every night, then you could be running at a deficit and not know it. If you’re too anxious to sleep, make sure to take some melatonin and a sleep med like a tiny bit of trazodone, catnip tea, and/or a first generation antihistamine, like Benadryl or hydroxyzine.
  5. Love yourself the way a good mother or father would.
These are things I had to teach myself too. It’s not your fault you’ve been abused and neglected most of your life and have trouble trusting people. But you do need to sit with the uncomfortable feelings you may have in social situations or by yourself. You are learning the stochastic rhythms of the universe, of the void of nothingness which we all come from, from which all sensations flow. I can sense it. But you must learn to control it wisely. That starts with learning to let go of attachments while still being in the world at the same time. The path to enlightenment and happiness is most often forged through overwhelming pain and tears. You are almost there, imo- a couple years from now you will be a highly enlightened being, and revered amongst your friends. But in order to live to see that day, you must love yourself and those around you now, and love is a verb.
🖤🌹🖤🌹🖤🌹🖤
One last thing, do some root chakra meditation too. I’m a Buddhist nowadays, but the Hindu chakra system is worth working with.
Teal Swan on YouTube, tho a bit controversial and perhaps annoyingly conservative sometimes, is extremely knowledgeable and insightful on such matters and a wonderful person. Remember that life is a Asian-American buffet, and you’re allowed to take the yummy fresh sushi they just put out while leaving behind the stale, rock hard sugar donuts that got left out all day. No one is 100% evil and nobody is 100% good. We are all shaped by the collections of our experiences and the way we have been treated.
🧷 Nyamaste 🐱
🌸. ☸️
☯️
~
StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys

Meow meow :3
@Elly Catfox
I do not like this Teal Swan person. I began by watching videos others made about her and there are some serious red flags. Today has been a rough day and might have been made worse had I gotten into the parts of her content I saw discussed. Fortunately, I am a protected bean who comes across the right videos.
Just be careful with her content, it sounds like you keep a healthy skepticism about her and that’s a very good thing :3
StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys

Meow meow :3
@StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys
Thinking on it more, I realize I shouldn’t simply assume that you avoid the concerning things I read about. A comment on one of the videos mentioned that she does repressed memories meditation, as well as meditations in which one imagines their own suicide. I have healed well from PTSD in part because I don’t suffer flashbacks, and the latter thing would obviously be very bad for me to imagine.
She obviously has content beyond those two things, and if that works for you, that is good. Just make sure you are avoiding the harmful content. Check yourself and ensure you are only picking that which is beneficial, not detrimental :3
nova_the_goober

the goofiest goober
i honestly feel like someone on discord is stalking me, over the entire course of being there and attempting to bring a close to some personal things i have been banned from two servers in the process in the same way, that being for seemingly no actual reason and when i try to reach out to people to find out what’s happening i’m just kept in the dark, i feel like it’s gonna happen again and i can’t help but feel like i’m being stalked
and another thing was that i ran away/got kicked out from home and was homeless for a while and actually did pretty well if i say so myself on the streets and even made a bunch of friends in the process, and thankfully my mum and aunt have been amazing in helping me find a place to stay and now i’m in a crisis accommodation place, and i believe that i’m already registered for either public or community housing but idk what happens from here, hopefully i can get transferred over to where my aunt lives where i can find social housing there
overall the last few weeks have been pretty hectic for me but i pulled through, i always soldier on no matter how dark things get
StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys

Meow meow :3
My right ovary has a “cyst the size of a grapefruit, with a lime on top”, to paraphrase my OBGYN. She also mentioned that this will cause it to twist on itself and whatnot.
Getting it removed will set me towards better enlightenment. Think about it: fruit? Lines that twist and turn? Roots. The root chakra is the one associated with physical health, and mine is currently impacted by this.
One may think this is a horrible thing with no upsides, but I beg to differ. I have been given the possibility of having a surgery I have wanted for years - since long before I knew I had this problem. Should I manage to get it, a greater source of suffering will be removed from my life decades before it otherwise would have been.
When there are things in your life that seem incredibly negative, try to look for the positive outcomes that you might be able to bring about because of them.
Nyamaste, friends 🌴
FruityPWN
Birthday Fur - Joined within the first year of the site operation and has had significant amount of activity as of June 1, 2021.
Astra - Helped choose the name for our mascot - Astra.
Passing of the Eclipse - Joined within the first month of public opening and has had at least some activity as of August 3, 2020.

Fruitiest of PWN
I honestly don’t want to be around anymore…my life is in literal shambles right now and I can’t do much about it. Last night was particularly rough because that’s when I realized, shortly after a terrible nightmare I had, that my sense of loyalty may be self-harmed…that meaning, I’m somehow hurting my loyalty due to traumatic and stressful circumstances…doesn’t help that I may very well be homeless soon.
What else is, I just want to be loved and desires for once in my life…is this too much to ask? Yes, others say the words “I” and “love” and “you”, but they’re just that, words. No merit behind it. I’ve tried to love myself for once and I realized quickly just how lonely I am…a canine can be solitaire, but they work better as a pack, after all. I miss the feeling of companionship and safety…I was ready to exile myself last night.
The paranoia is bad too…doesn’t help that I now see and hear things that don’t make no sense…just the cherry on top.
My head won’t stop throbbing, the sadness overflows…the body is in physical pain, but there is no cure. I now lay here, preparing for another bad night…who’s there? Is it finally time?…
StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys

Meow meow :3
@FruityPWN
I am here! While I am but a purrson on the Internet who cannot impact your free will, I do not think it is finally time for you to end your life. Keep hanging in there, Fruity 💚
You are not truly alone. You have all of us here. You have me. I may not be a wolf, but a small feline, but that doesn’t matter. A pack need not be made up of only canines, and in fact, a pack made up of various species is all the stronger for it. We are your found family.
Did you know I have been through the exact same things you are going through? I heard noise outside my house for hours on end once. I had a terrifying dream the other night, in which a late friend was trying to break into my house, his eyes turning a bright blue and staring into my soul. I tell you that not to get depressing, but merely to tell you that you are not alone. We are powerful beings, and an unfortunate side effect of that is that we see and hear things sometimes. It’s scary at first, but try not to be so afraid of it. Ground yourself. Take deep breaths. Just lay and let your mind rest for a while, it will help you to calm down. Try not to move much until you are more relaxed and feel at least a little better. Nap, if you can.
Being homeless is, unfortunately, something I do not consider to have any possible upsides to. Still, I advise you to keep hanging on. Think about what you can do about it, should it occur. Think small. It is easy to get swept up and overwhelmed by thinking big, such as “I need this amount of money right now!” Instead, think about what the first, small step would be towards getting yourself there. Pace your thoughts by focusing on the step-by-step.
Hang in there. You’ve got me as a friend, and together we are strong!
StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys

Meow meow :3
Woke up thinking about Carole Baskin. All I had to do was read her Wikipedia page to learn that I was right - she is a good purrson who was slandered in the Tiger King documentary. I thought I’d also share that because it contains so much good news about her that has happened since :3 So there you have it, my venting about how everyone making the claim in that doc were people that had it out for her is cut short as I have already been proven right, nya! >^_^<
StrangeKittenOfTheFabulousKilljoys

Meow meow :3
Rip Ted… I will never forget the joy you brought to this world, the time you loafed and I talked to you until you dozed off… I grant you blessings as your cross the rainbow bridge.
Someday. Someday, this disease in its many forms will finally have cures. I thank my lucky stars that the treatment for mine was approved just a couple years before I needed it, else I wouldn’t even be here today.
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