Vent Thread

Fucking panic attacks every goddamned day. I’m fucking 26 and somehow in my head I’m fucking 7 years old and screaming held down on the fucking wall again and I can’t escape!!!! Leave me alone!!!!!! Leave me alone leave me alone leave me alone help me!!!!!!!!!!!!

@OliverHancock  
Life sucks, you’ve just gotta deal with it. My dad is dead, I got robbed of every dime that was mine, I got no justice, no revenge, nothing. I’m sick of no justice in the world, but I deal with it and live my life, you need to as well.

Bullied and pushed and ostracized and treated like shit and I can’t fucking get over it. I’m lost and confused and I fucking can’t get over it. Olly cannot get over it big surprise God fucking damnit I don’t WANT to be this way. I didn’t fucking ASK to be this way!!!! You hear me you stupid fucking universe, I didn’t ASK for this!!!!!!!! I don’t want this anymore than you do!!!!!!!!

@OliverHancock  
You should really seek professional help if this is affecting you this badly.

@MagpulDynamicPie  
What do you fucking know about pain? What do you fucking know about life-long suffering huh? You bitch and moan on here as much as I goddamned do and for what? You can’t handle the streets a fucking tiny bit? You can’t handle losing that precious little 1% bullshit???? You think cause you’re not fucking rich anymore you’re suffering now is that it? I’m a goddamned lost cause like just about everything else on this fucking unjust hellhole of a planet.

@MagpulDynamicPie  
I already fucking do, have for years.

@MagpulDynamicPie  
Doesn’t seem to help anything in the long run. Just end up panicking too much and I don’t know how not to.

@MagpulDynamicPie  
They won’t even take me at the fucking hospital cause welcome to America. Where you can be as unhinged or more than I am and cut yourself and hate your goddamned existence more than you thought was possible and somehow still be turned away.

@OliverHancock  
You think money is the only issue? My entire family betrayed me. There are details I can’t share, but you don’t know who my family is or how deep the betrayal and corruption goes, the pain of knowing that a life of always doing the right thing brought nothing but pain and suffering. Having to watch some of the only real friends you’ve ever had suffer in times of need and not being able to do anything to help them. It’s never only about money.

@MagpulDynamicPie  
You know what’s wrong too? I’m fucking lonely . Nobody in this godforsaken hellhole ever really understood me on my fucking level. I never fucking had a chance and all that ever fucking came out of their goddamned mouths was “you’re weird” and “stop feeling sorry for yourself,” and I just wanted a human fucking connection. That’s all I wanted. I just wanted to understood and loved and not abandoned for once…

@MagpulDynamicPie  
I’m sorry… :’(

@MagpulDynamicPie  
I’d kill myself now but I don’t have the guts. Also I don’t want to hurt my loved ones… I love her too much for that even if I feel like I can’t connect enough….. It’s my problem… Not hers… I need to take… My pills ..

@OliverHancock  
It’s fine. And yes, I know plenty about loneliness too.

@MagpulDynamicPie  
That sucks… I’m sorry… I’m… Goddamnit… /)_- :(

@MagpulDynamicPie  
I’m not a monster… But I acted like one tonight…. Maybe I am… I’m losing it. Snapped. Can’t … Need to connect… Figure it out … I’ll just go now.

@OliverHancock  
Just remember you have friends here and on derpi. I honestly talk to my online friends more than people irl these days.

@MagpulDynamicPie  
I don’t feel I can ever trust anybody… I put so much trust in so many people over the years and only got suffering for it… But I’ll try… Part of me knows you’re right and it breaks my heart to hear that… But I just… Idk ….. I’m so scrambled up…. My doctor gave me fucking pills I’m allergic to after I already told him and begged him not to do it again and it almost killed me. Then they stick me in a Looney bin for a year and I came out of that godforsaken place worse than I went in. They treat people like animals in the mental health system.

I’ll try to believe those thoughts and words of kindness though. I haven’t really fine anything to deserve them… I can’t… I haven’t been civil… I don’t know what is right ….. Gonna sleep now….. I’m so sorry… :’( Goodnight ……

@OliverHancock  
No worries at all buddy, get some good rest.

Getting tired of seeing my country turn into the pussified, ultra-PC world of Demolition Man.

@Nightweaver20xx  
If you get a chance, move to one of the red states. We tend to be less politically correct than blue states.

@Goku Black  
I might. I’m half expecting someone to approach me and ask me what my “boggle” is. I mean, I go to Planet Fitness, right? Every two minutes or so they have a corporate robot announcement come on that says something about being “clean-siderate to your fellow members… remember to put a treadmill’s length, or two(!) between you and other members.” And this gem, “Remember to scrub up for 20 seconds before and after working out. Don’t feel like counting to 20? Sing the chorus from one of your favorite workout songs!” Etc. etc. and it’s all said in THE most condescendingly happy bullshit voice I have ever heard in my life. I feel like someone is trying to reprogram me to behave how they want, and I don’t like it.

@Nightweaver20xx  
Unfortunately there are too many dirty, stupid, and inconsiderate assholes spreading germs everywhere. That’s why they do that.
 
@Goku Black  
By all means, we would prefer the people constantly bitching about the “PC world we live in” to get out of the blue states.

@OliverHancock  
I would ASAP but I’m stuck here.

@MagpulDynamicPie  
Well you’re not like that though. I mean, you have legitimate reasons and issues with the democratic establishment and people being politically correct for the sake of policital correctness. That’s different than people who complain about treating people who are different than themselves like human beings.
 
There’s a difference between being “politically correct” by treating people nicely, like you want to be treated, and being “politically correct” by ignoring the truth and letting people be hypocrites, or being politically correct by not standing up for the right thing. It’s different when you’re politically incorrect for a just cause, like calling out someone’s bad behaviour even though they are well liked.