First off I am seeing a therapist. So, if I seem dark in this know I have some one to help me. I honestly just need a point in the correct direction.
I consider my art and writing my calling. With that said… I been in cross fire between secular and Christian culture. My heart goes out to those of you in a similar situation. Its incredibly hard to be Christian in the craft of art and writing.
The only friends I have are work related. I don’t know exactly why I can’t find artist and or writers willing to hang out. I devoted most of my house to craft and technical craft. The moments where I broke down I ended up destroying my budget upon extra craft materials. Basically in hopes if I had it friendships would begin.
When trying to form friendships by showing my art I get one of three reactions. One is they admire my art, but no friendship begins. Two they think I am crazy for having a wonderland. Three they think I am a hardcore legalistic Christian.
I fight self destructive thoughts over this. Every dark epesode leads to this conclusion. My books will never have a chance if I gave up on my life now. I just feel stuck at times. Like the only meaningful friendships I have are imaginary. My furry and otherwise characters are the only ones with me. A figment of my imagination because they always are there. Where else do they have to go?