The Non-Consensual Collision With The Crystalline Derrière _{(20180224, edit 20201025)}
 
Touching the most precious thing in the Crystal Kingdom. Perfectly disguised as a guard - just ignore the two devices emitting light, the skeleton costume, and the clipping cat socks. Why are there no other guards around? Doesn’t seem like it is needed in any way. Moon Flower doesn’t like high temperatures anyways. Of course this is only posed and Moon Flower would never steal it. There’s no “DO NOT TOUCH” sign, so gonna need to take a chance at booping it. I can reassure you that it didn’t drop and break or something. :p
 
Title inspired by the aliens using “swollen” language from the web comic Strange Planet and stylised hearts looking like butts. Also booty is another word for treasure, loot, if you didn’t know.