Which makes sense in my Archie Sonic headcannon, but I have a lot of explaining to do for the casual Sonic fans/Archie rookies before I get into that.

See, in the comics, Sonic’s world (Mobius) is just Earth approximately 3,000 years after the Xorda (aliens) detonated a gene-scrambling bomb in retaliation for the humans dissecting one of their emissaries. Some forms of life were wiped out, others turned into horrible mutants, and it seems like most mammals were splashed with human DNA and became furries. Some humans fled to the stars, but I like to think most survivors ended up riding out the radiation apocalypse in vaults, Fallout style. Most of Sonic’s adventures in the Archie comics take place in the Kingdom of Acorn, a relatively recently industrialized feudal country located in what was once the United States. The seat of the monarchy, Mobotropolis (number 13 on the map), appears to be… New Mexico? Huh.

Mobotropolis does not look nearly dry enough to be New Mexico. Then again, Earth’s crust looks like it suffered a 1,000 on the richter scale, so the climate’s probably FUBAR. Look, the irradiated Russians can just traipse right on into Canada.

And that’s where my headcannon comes in because it’s precisely what they did. I figure there had to be a verdammt good explanation why the Acornians share so many cultural and linguistic similarities with the Overlanders (somewhat mutated humans) and yet harbor so much hatred against them. It didn’t take me long to work it out, everyone knows what happens when a technologically superior civilization encounters a less developed one. I say the Acornians were assimilated and made into 2nd class citizens or worse: cheap slave labor.

Eventually the “Russians”, migrating over the land bridge in search of more hospitable territory (looks like Asia bore the brunt of the Xorda bomb’s radiation. Is that China inside the lethal radiation zone? Yikes…) and put down roots near enough to make the “Americans” jumpy. Conflict ensues.

The Russians agitate the Acornians against their oppressors in and attempt to destabilize the Americans and aid an underground rebel group of freedom fighter furballs headed by Alexander Acorn, Sally’s ancestor. And all these mental gymnastics just so I’d have the perfect excuse to apply Eastern European influence to the North American Mobians’ clothing. I like Slavic culture, can you tell? :’D

I’ve always thought the Acorn royal guard would look better dressed as cossacks rather that whole Napoleonic Wars thing they’ve got goin’ on. Plus their first line of defense is swordsmanship and I can’t think of anyone who handles swords better than the cossacks (careful, that video’s loud.)

…Gosh, you made it all the way down here? You… you really think this is interesting? Vielen Dank! ;u;

In that case, I’ll explain my reasoning behind Bernadette’s (Sonic’s mother) apron, too! I was thinking that, in Acornian culture, women do the needlework and they code these signifiers regarding social standing, ancestry, and personality into their aprons. Sonic’s Uncle Chuck is a knight, so I figure his family’s pretty cozy with the Acorn royal family. This is lended further credibility by Sonic’s friendship with the Princess whom he’s known since childhood, hence the acorn with oak leaves. The blue hedgehog heads in profile could be the symbol of their house. Everything below that is bells and whistles until the strawberry tier.

I wanted the lowest rung to be something personal, something specific to Bernadette’s character, but the only thing I know about her is that her favorite tune is some folksong titled “Strawberry Valley,” so strawberries it was. :dummy: