Secret Ritual

The Nekkidnomicon. An infinitely accursed ancient text written in SCARY DARK RED INK on CREEPY OLD PAPER and bound in REGULAR, EVEN SLIGHTLY LOW-QUALITY MATERIAL. BY THE DAMNED. Whispers about its existence have circulated among horny occult circles for millennia, but no one knew of its whereabouts until modern times. First uncovered in 1922 among the ancient, buried papyrus porn stash of the Pharaoh Nutanherbuti, this monstrous text changed hands many times, each time under MYSTERIOUSLY SEXY CIRCUMSTANCES. It was said that everyone who reads it EVENTUALLY ENDS UP TAKING THEIR CLOTHES OFF AT SOME POINT. One must take great care when reading the squiggly runes aloud. One mispronounced syllable and you might have a bunch of sexy succubi feeling you up, or a bunch of ghost hands or tentacles or something.