Vent Thread

Ran 9 miles today with about 15 or 20 pounds in my backpack. ^.^

Edit: wait, oops this is the wrong thread haha

I’ll turn it into a vent here: I’m happy about it but my back does hurt.

Nothing a good orgasm or 2 won’t knock loose. 😸

Damn, I’m such a bitch…

@FruityPWN
I feel like that a lot too

The landlord just gave a notice of towing my car for not putting an insignia up.

Tear gas doesn’t work on a gas mask and bullets don’t work on NIJ Level IIIA steel plate armor.

I ran 32 miles in the last 8 days, many with heavy shit on my back. I also poured concrete, worked the garden, foraged yellow sweet clover, chicory, cat’s ear, and nodding thistle, canned honey oranges, deepthroated and fucked a 7 inch dildo, and generally kicked fucking ass.

There’s nothing anyone can throw at me that’s going to stop me from being who I am, doing whatever I want with my body, and loving whoever I want to love. Every time you scream at me in the street it makes me stronger and every breath I take without your permission raises my self esteem.

@Olly Catfox
Please remember to be kind to yourself.

If you want to live in a world where people have to be armed for war at all times, then arm for war at all times and your life will be filled with ever escalating violence. And if you want to live in a world where that is not necessary, then don’t arm yourself for war at all times. Your life may still be filled with violence but you at least will not be escalating it.

If you are not safe where you are, go somewhere else. We live in a time of extraordinary mobility. Even a homeless person can cross most countries by hopping rides or getting help from a friend. When I was homeless was one of the most liberating and freeing times of my life. It’s often that the more we have, the more stuck we are, and if you have nothing to lose, then let go of what is keeping you trapped where you are, and go find something you want instead. And while going to another place may not make things better, if you feel you have to fill a grocery cart with weapons to be safe where you are then where you are is not good.

Just remember that where ever you go, you bring yourself with. And if being yourself does not normally involve being armed and armored, then by armoring yourself up you are already changing in response to the behaviors of others.

PS: Cops in the USA tend to go for the ones wearing gas masks first. One of their jobs is to identify people who may be more prone to act radically, and when they see someone wearing a gasmask they know that person is prepared for a confrontation and they are usually the first selected in a snatch and grab. If you’re not in the US, then know that in some countries wearing one is considered “passive armament” and wearing one means you are not peacefully demonstrating but are acting against the “Peace Of The Land”. So, if your intention is to make trouble, then wearing one of those paints a biggest red flag on you saying “Take out this one first”. Keeping it in a backpack until you absolutely need it is always the best option.

@Ciaran
I appreciate your thoughts, but there is nowhere safe to go, and I refuse to be a victim. It’s part of who I am. I’m not escalating anything, but I will not be a victim anymore. You don’t get the right to put me in further harm’s way and take my right to defend myself and vulnerable people away.

Also there is no “peace of the land.” The government and piece of shit rednecks are attacking us and we are the ones defending ourselves.

Edit: Nevermind

Also that is incredibly naive and disturbing what you said about preparedness, yes even in case of the escalating violence against us as we are already seeing play out, as if somehow being ready to defend yourself and your people from violence is escalating violence.

Honestly, I’m very disappointed and thought you were better than that, Ciaran, I really did. I like your viewpoints on things and your way with understanding people, but it’s absolutely abhorrent to tell people not to be prepared, especially now as attacks on minorities increase and people need more than ever to be able to stop their attackers and defend their lives and their rights from the bigots who would do us harm.

I don’t want escalating violence, but you don’t get to tell me that what I’ve worked for 6 friggin years was all for naught, that I’m part of the problem. You’re blaming the victim is what you’re doing and it’s absolutely disgusting.

My day is not ruined, but my disappointment is immeasurable.

Do you think that the government attempting to strip our rights to exist, to use the goddamned restroom, to love who we want to love, isn’t escalating violence all on it’s own!? Do you think that the lives and rights of millions of people being attacked is not an act of escalating violence?! They escalate violence regardless of WHAT we do. We aren’t good enough for them and nothing we can say or do will stop them from doing what they want so we should as well at least try to defend ourselves instead of taking it lying down.

Because it is. And it’s not an act of escalation to attempt to stop that, to prevent that, to defend that. They’re the ones who are attacking us. We’re the ones who are defending from the attacks.

You don’t get to get on some high horse and do some sparky false equivalence bullshit and pretend like what we’re doing is the same thing as them cause it’s not. You don’t blame the million+ Iraqi civillians for getting killed by the Goddamned US military who waged an offensive war against a country that didn’t attack them do you? Cause that’s what you’re doing now to me and my people.

Absolutely disgusting, I can’t believe you. I thought I liked you but that’s just absolutely horrible to tell people they shouldn’t defend themselves.

@Olly Catfox
Stop twisting words to shove in people’s mouths so you can be angry at them over things they didn’t say.

@Olly Catfox, etc

@Ciaran
If you’re poor and have nothing to lose you’re much more likely to be susceptible to disease and an early death. Just because you’re fine with that lifestyle doesn’t mean you get to impose that on everyone else and it’s sick to act like that.

I’ve been homeless. I’ve had to sleep on cold streets and get my fingers frostbit and wonder where my next meal was and subsist on hotdogs. It was fucking horrible. You don’t get to tell me what being homeless is like and act like that’s all fine and dandy.

@Teaspoon
Okay what did I twist around? What did I say? How am I wrong? I’m not even angry anyway, I’m hurt and I’m scared as I damn well have reason to be, although I’m… trying not to… I just don’t know how…

@Ciaran
:( You’re mean, you know that?

@Olly Catfox
If you have more to say to me, send me a PM so at least the rest of the world is spared.

I love working for my church, but I wanted to clean my apartment today and have spent it changing lights at church.

I’m having a panic attack. I’m not okay.i need help. Nobody will help me. I need help. I can’t get it. I need help.noboydy’s there. I need help.

@Olly Catfox
Go to an emergency room or call the suicide hotline in the country where you live now. If you have a primary care physician, call them or their nurse. If you are religious, call the leader of your religious institution, group or circle.

Breathe slowly.

@Zaknel
Thank you for your service.

Normally when I volunteer I try to take care of the stuff no one else wants to do, like vacuuming, or dusting, cleaning the toilets, or fixing the lights in the basement. Those little things really matter sometimes. And sometimes stuff like replacing lightbulbs is the thing that never gets done until it becomes a real problem, or someone trips on something.

Well these lights don’t have bulbs. They are fixtures. So rather than change the bulb, they needed two electricians to change the 4 foot long fixtures. It was a lot of work. I am tired and hungry. But now I am in Denny’s, and I intend to eat.